Things I'm Definitely NOT Going to Miss.

The Things:

-being ajumma'd
-silkworm larva
-squatters

...Is that is? Three things?

Oh, and Ruby's nonsense. Wait. Maybe I will miss that. There's going to be so much happening while I'm gone. I wonder what I'm going to miss...

How weird is it that I feel like being home will be like missing my favorite soap?

I must be crazy.

Things I'm Going to Miss 5: My Kids.

Only two more days with my kids. I've had some of these kids since February. I remember starting on page one with them. Now they fight with each other in English and have my accent. They ask questions with a Pittsburgh inflection (which don't sound like questions at all) and they mimic everything I've ever said to them. What are they going to pick up from Britt while I'm gone? It better not be "I seen~" I will be so freakin' irritated if she teaches my kids "I seen."

S: "You need to just say goodbye to them now and accept the fact that when you come back none of them will be your kids anymore. You'll have a completely new set. It'll be like you're starting over."

I know he's right and it sucks. I want to punch him in the face. Mostly 'cause I can't punch the one I want to, and I feel like Shadow will be more forgiving. Not that he wouldn't be pissed.

Ruby has been trying to take Britt's classes from her for a while now, because she doesn't think she can control them and I've felt her eyeing up my kids. This would be the perfect opportunity to cycle the classes around. I don't want any of Britt's kids. I like mine. Though I have a hard time believing that this new teacher in January isn't going to be replacing someone. And I think I know which one of us is the weakest link. It ain't me. I'll be back fresh from the States.

I really care about each one of my students and losing even a single one would just be a crappy way to start up my new contract. I know they'll miss me while I'm gone, but by the time I get back, they will have adjusted to the change. Kids are notoriously resilient. I should be happy getting even one back.

Shadow's right. I gotta let 'em go. They're not mine.

Things I'm Going to Miss 4: Life in the City.

I know for a fact I will miss this while I'm home. Back when I was in Paris, I didn't appreciate the convenience of having everything I could possibly want only a metro ride away. I hate driving.

Things in Gwangju are a little different, though. Everything is still accessible, it's just a cab/bus ride away or a short walk. There are a half dozen pizza places within a 5 minute walk from my place. The grocery store is less than a block away, the post office is just down the street, the sev is at the entrance to our complex, and there's a bakery right across the way. It never takes very long to get anywhere in my city, but it's not so big that I ever need worry about getting lost or overwhelmed.

There are few moments when I think of something I want and can't find a way to get it within a few days. This place really is the perfect starter city. It's just the right size and is convenient to most places in the country. I got a good one, that's for sure.

Things I'm Going to Miss 3: The Food.

Yes, this one may sound a little surprising. Thanks to Korean food, I have dropped a few jean sizes in the past year. I can't eat a single thing without hearing "so good for to be healthy."

More than that, though, is that there are very few things I care to eat that much of. I never have a problem with portion control, because most of the inexpensive foods I eat daily are things that my stomach just refuses to overeat. It will take just enough to keep us alive and no more.

Some of the food is absolutely delicious, though, and that is the stuff I will truly miss. Bibimbap, kimbap, sangapsal, duck shabu shabu, samgak kimbap, rice blobs... Yeah. There are definitely some food items to which I have become accustomed. I'll miss ordering a cheeja peeja and having it arrive with corn.

Though I will enjoy real tacos while home.

Things I'm Going to Miss 2: Not Having to Listen to Dumb People.

Not understanding the people around you certainly can be an advantage. I never feel tempted to eavesdrop on a stupid conversation about something I'm not even remotely interested in just because whatever I'm thinking about isn't gripping enough to keep me inside my own head.

I'm sure while I'm in the States, I'll get sucked into at least a few conversations I would rather ignore with feigned ignorance (in Korea it's not even feigned) but will be unable to escape. When you don't understand a single word, you can walk around and never be annoyed by people talking. In the States, I find myself judging others by the quality of the conversation I can overhear.

I also never really have to worry about anyone listening into mine. I am free to speak stupid about whatever I want and as long as I say it fast, I know no one can really fully grasp everything I'm saying. Even native English speakers sometimes can't catch it when we speak too fast.

Just thinking about losing my protective communication barrier makes me never want to engage in another exchange in front of a third party ever again. Oh insensibility, I will miss you while I'm gone.

Things I'm Going to Miss 1: Free Stuff.

Now that my time is coming to a close, I wanted to start thinking about my time in Korea during the last 11.5 months. There are a lot of things I really like and a lot of things I think I'm really going to miss.

First order of business: Service.

No moderate sized shopping trip in Korea would be complete without a few freebies. Anytime a sales associate or clerk hands you something you didn't pick out yourself and says/mumbles/shouts the word "Service" it means you are getting something free to go with what you have just paid for.

Sometimes it makes sense. Sometimes you buy 5 pairs of socks and get 1 free. Sometimes you buy a box of cereal and get a bowl or a bag of onions and get a free pack of gum.

Sometimes it doesn't make sense. Sometimes you'll buy a couple of beers and get a dried squid. Sometimes you buy a couple of triangle kimbaps and get a free lighter, or a pen. Buying a pack of candy could mean a free sample of another kind of candy or it could mean you get a face mask. Actually. The face mask thing is fairly common.

I don't know if the locals get as much service as we foreigners, but I do know they don't treat us like this in the States. While I'm home, I'll definitely be thinking about all the possible service opportunities I'm missing out on.

Some Things Are Probably Universal.

I wonder if they sit in Ruby's office talking about how messed up we foreign teachers are. I wonder if they sit in there talking about how unreasonable and crazy we waygook act. I wonder if they stress about talking to us the way we dread talking to them. I wonder if they sit in the front speaking rapid Korean wondering how best to deal with us or trying to figure out what is going on in our crazy cake mixed up brains.

S: "Oh, I'm sure of it. I'm sure they sit in there and think about exactly the same things we do. They sit and try to figure out what our next move is going to be, probably trying to determine how we're going to try and mess up their plans. Their saying the same things, the only different is that all of their thoughts end in 'hamnida'."

Are we the weird, uncooperative, irrational ones in their drama? If an audience was watching this- with subtitles, of course- which side would be the antagonists? Is it us? Are we the crazy cakes?

It's easy to be the good guys. No one truly envisions themselves as the bad guys. I'm convinced all bad guys are just misunderstood good guys.

Or sociopaths. Actually, I bet a fair amount of bad guys are sociopaths.

"Erin Teacher, Can I Have Your Eyelids?"

My kids are always surprising me with the strangest compliments. If they aren't commenting on my white skin or big eyes then they can't stop talking about my high nose or "crazy" curly hair. This eyelid thing is new, though.

"Erin Teacher, your eyelids are so beautiful." I spent a little time today discussing western compliments with my Red Teddy Bears. I tried to explain that in the States we don't tell someone their head is so small or their nose is so big and we don't really give a second thought to eyelids. We tell them they have nice hair, or a beautiful smile; we mention they are looking especially slender that day or compliment them on their wardrobe choice. We certainly would never tell someone we like their head shape because "it is just like a turkey's egg." That's one of Shadow's. My kids have never remarked on my head shape. I can only conclude mine is an undesirable shape.