One Full Month of Life in the Future.

Today we voted against staying in the apartment and decided to hit up old downtown. We grabbed the bus we thought would most probably get us there (48) and headed on out. Having no concept of how far it might be or any idea of what we were looking for, you'd probably consider this quite the risky maneuver. Add in our inability to communicate effectively or read Korean and you've got an equation that leads to potential fun. Risky? Maybe. But why not?

Old Downtown? We didn't find it, but, as tends to happen, we found something pretty great instead. The U Culture Complex was the closest thing we've found to a mall all month. Who even knew it was there? This is where you can find the imax movie theatre, Coldstone Creamery, american makeup, Dior, and, yes, the TGIFridays. Nachos!

We wandered around for a few hours instead of trying to figure out the movie ticket machine. We tried it out. No go. As we headed back to the bus stop we saw a vending machine with all kinds of crazy new things to try. Jenn went for Grapé Juice and I took a shot in the dark and went for Pine Bud Drink. Pine? Oh, man, this is gonna taste just like Christmas!! I could hardly contain my excitement long enough to take a picture of it before popping the can open and having a taste. Yup. Just like Christmas. That is, if Christmas involved tree licking. I might've drank the blood of a tree. GROSS. Lesson learned. Pine Bud Drink = no es bueno. We caught the bus successfully and headed on home.


So, Ladies and Gentlemen, here we are. We have reached the end of Month One here in the Future. Thirty one days of crazy cake fun and surprises rockin down in KTown.

Let's sum it up a bit, now. We arrived, met the teachers, lived with the bosses, went to school, became teachers, befriended Koreans, figured out the bus route to school, and learned how to say "Thank you" (kahm sah hahm nee dah), "I'm sorry" (me en ham nee dah), "good bye" (anyung hee keh seh yo) and Pig Meat (Dewedgi gogi).

THEN, we got an apartment, Jenn got a bed, Jenn got a chest of drawers. Erin is furniture-less and sleeping at the foot of Jenn's bed. No, not really. I am a human. She's graciously offered halvsies on her bed til my guy shows up.

I eat spicy ramen everyday, because it's the only thing I never mess up and drink 2L of green tea a day. Apparently the water's not safe to drink. I boil it. It's safe enough.

That should bring us all up to speed.

Sooo, predictions for the upcoming 11 months? I feel a scolding coming late in the second month and a hiking trip early in the 3rd. The 4th and 5th will blend together as one with another 10kgs dropped and months 5,6 and 7 are going to be super tan. A Tokyo trip sometime in there too, and a Christmas spent without California.

By then, I'm sure we'll be tired of him anyway so no need to worry about it just yet.

Final thoughts on Month One in Korea? No biggie. This, I can do. Another 11? Bring it.

I Had Officially Borrowed California's Glass Half Broken.

April Fool's Bed Day is the worst. Hopes fall so hard, don't they? I'm not even surprised. No bed? Isn't it thursday? Well, gimme back my key, Narky.

I was late to work today cause I was just so sure that bed guy or Narky would be showing up to commence Bed Day. We get to work and hopes die as I open the door and see Narky sitting at the receptionists desk.

E: "Morning, Narky. Any word on the bed?"
N: "I just don't really know, the man hasn't called me yet?"

Why's that a question? Will he be calling later? Is there going to be a bed for me today or not? Did anyone actually buy me a bed or are we just waiting for Miami to throw in the towel so we can grab that one? Did he just say "maybe tomorrow"?

No need to worry I'll get my hopes up on that phrase. Last friday we heard "Maybe definitely you'll get beds tomorrow." Just a regular 'maybe' ? Meaningless. I'll bring it up again on Monday.

The day wasn't completely shot, of course. Ruby pops her head in at the end of the day. Ahh, but I do love those silver linings.

"I'll see you guys on Monday."

Wait. Is today Friday? Why did she say Monday? Is she taking the day off? Please God, let her be taking the day off.

"I'm going to the Philippines tomorrow."

SKIPPY. The bed? Who cares. No boss lady tomorrow! I handed California his broken glass back and grabbed my half full one. Not that Cali needed his back. Even he couldn't find anything to Debbie Down about that statement. There was silent cheering and mega fist pumping. Ahh... Fridays are already great, but this is... Unreal.

Yeah, That's Great and All... But, Like, Do I Get One, Too?

So Jenn's queen size bed shows up bright and early this morning at 11am. Bed day!!! It is taking this guy forever to set up this thing and there are significant chunks of time where I witnessed him sitting and staring at the bed frame. He'd lean forward and touch it, push it back a little, and then pretend to be doing something productive. By the time he's done I'm more than ready to see what kind of fun I've ended up with. He heads for the door and says something in korean. Sorry, buddy, try again. We ask about the second bed and were left with the impression he'd be coming back. Mostly cause he left the front door wide open. An hour later it's time for me to leave for work. The door's still open. I should just admit defeat here, but I leave still thinking he might come back with a comfy bed for this kid.

After Jenn shows up I decide to confront the boss ladies.

Me: "Hey, Ruby's Sister, I just had a question about the beds..."
RS: "Uhn." (that's Tarzan for "okay")
Me: "So Jenn's bed showed up this morning and its great. She's really happy with it."
RS: "Uhn." (Tarzan for "that's good")
Me: "But I was just wondering if, um, I would be getting a bed too, ooooor if we're sharing....?"
RS: "Uhn. I will ask Ruby. I think you're getting a bed. Maybe day after tomorrow."

Thanks a ton, Grunter, way to instill confidence. So Ruby comes to find me about 3 hours later.

"Grunter told me you were asking about a bed?" I quell the 'what of it?' that I could feel rising in the back of my throat and nod.
"Yeah, cause Jenn's bed is really great, but the delivery man didn't seem to know anything about a second bed."
"Uhn. Um. We forgot to buy yours. So Jennifer has hers already, right?"
"Yeah, she's got one now."
"Yeah and Grunter told you day after tomorrow?"
"Yes. Day after tomorrow. Sooo Thursday?
"Uhn. Cause we forgot to buy yours."

Bull. Shit. There's no way you forget that you have two teachers living in a two bedroom apartment and each teacher will need her own bed. I dont get it. New Guy's got a bed. Even Miss Honey had a bed. Is this really happening?

So I man up and ask her about the drawers I was promised. No worries, I was polite and not at all accusatory. She says yeah, they have a set of drawers right here in the school. Excellent. At least I'll have a place to unpack my stuff.

They haul it out of storage carry it outside the school and its beautiful. So what if it doesn't match anything. And its possible it's not big enough for all my stuff. C'est pas grave. It's mine.

"This is for Jennifer, because she needed a mirror." Whoa. Fistful of salt in my eye. So not only did I not get a bed, but I actually helped Jenn get a set of drawers for all the clothes she may one day have? Its not like the mirror is attached or anything. It could easily be separated. They agree to buy me one for my room. Yeah. I'm sure it'll match my bed. Matches it right now, dunnit?

They even spoke about getting Jenn a closet. Wow. Am I lower on the totem pole than Miss Honey? What the H is going on here?

They drop us off at EMart since its on the way and we had a ton of stuff to buy. I don't really mean a ton. I just needed to buy a blanket that's big enough to cover my shoulders and feet at the same time. I did. Its pretty freakin fantastic. I wasn't exactly in the mood to shop hard. I just can't seem to shake the feeling that they're doing this on purpose. No bed, no unpacking, no real classes. I'm two steps from being fired, aren't I?

We left the EMart and I've reached glass half empty. I'm ready to call home for a good sympathy chat. Under different circumstances, I would probably just crawl into bed and sleep it off, but...

The walk home was pretty great, though. Having no real sense of direction, I knew it wasn't going to be me getting us home safely. Jenn had an idea about how to go and we headed off in that general direction. I'm convinced we went in a couple of really big circles but since I can't read the stars yet, I can't be sure. However she did it, it got done. We walked home none the worse for wear with a mood much improved.

We crawl into bed and I start counting down the time til I can break my own room in.

This is My Nightmare.

So on the way out of the office yesterday, I saw the New Guy eyeing what used to be Miss Honey's desk, but had quickly become a free desk for whoever happened to grab it. Well, folks, it may not have been the most sensitive thing I've ever done, but I've been here for three weeks already and still only have a side of Jenn's desk. The first step to breaking out of the "Jenn's friend" typecast had to be the separation of my work space from hers. But how to do it tactfully. Being a tactful guy, Miami turns and says "Just walk by and put your books down. Just leave your books there and its done. Your desk." Yeah, thats tactful. Suck it, New Guy.

Seniority and all that. I hope Miss Honey's desk isn't cursed...

Four hours later, who should walk in? Mother Loving Miss Honey. Who is she looking at? This kid. I'm surprised I didn't bleed out with all the daggers she was shooting at me.

M.H.: Ruby just said that you two told her I had another job?

Even though the comment was directed at me and Jenn, I couldn't help but notice that she wasn't looking away. Since I had said no such thing and she had some seriously angry eyebrows I just sat and Blank Stared it up. Jenn took her cue.

J: No. She told us you were looking for another job.

They locked her out of her apartment because she was avoiding them. So she had to haul her butt back to the office to have someone let her into her place to get all her stuff back. A "heated discussion" ensued between HeadMistress, her sister, and Miss Honey and this kid headed off to class.

I get back just in time to hear Narky trying to convince Jenn that one of us needs to leave our laptop out and open on the living room table in the morning so that the internet guy can check the internet signal. It looked like Jenn was about to cave when she looked up at me to explain the situation. Not A Chance in HELL. I'm willing to risk a lot of things here in Korea, but not Mac Baby. He will NOT be at home on the living room table. He will be in school with me under my desk.

N: Its just to check the internet signal.
J: Uhhh... I don't know... um... I'll have to wait til Erin gets out of class and see if she wants to leave hers... Ah! Good you're here, Narky has something he wants to say to us.

Enter Erin.

N: One of you will leave your computer on the table so that the guy can install the internet and check the signal?
E: No. Absolutely not.
N: What?
E: No. I'm not leaving it at home.
N: Its okay. I'll be there so I can bring it to school with me after he checks it.
E: Not a chance. It comes with me.

Jenn, surprised that this deer in headlights could stand up and fight against Narky without fear of repercussion, finally found her voice and took over. She just kept saying "its my lifeline home, blah blah blah. Not that I can't trust you, but blah blah blah." I had no intention of EVER saying that. I don't trust him. He went into Miss Honey's apartment while she was at school one day and took pictures of all her medications so that the headmistress could look them up. He's a spy. He's a Nark. Leave Mac Baby with that? No way in Hockey sticks.

Another sour note, I just found out that The One lives in Seoul and I'm losing him in another month. HPGirl? She lives in Busan. They're actually next door neighbors right now in Gwangju. The neighbor thing is actually super convenient. They're both incredibly competitive and work their butts off to hand in their homework with the fewest mistakes. Nothing wrong with a little harmless competition, right?

But what am I going to do? I lose all my favorites on March 1.


Anyways, I got my medical clearance form back today with a passing score. As of last week, I am 5'4" and 15 lbs lighter than when I got here 2 weeks before. Quelle surprise.... not like they were feeding us or anything.

ALSO. No tuberculosis. Guess those howler monkeys at the Baboon Sanctuary were TB free after all.


When we left, Ruby and Miss Honey were still duking it out. It was 10pm and we snuck out and took a bus. Is it really sneaking? I had been there since noon.

I half thought New Guy would stop us. Even though he lent me his "air mattress" I just can't shake the nark vibe.

Then I got the "air mattress" out and inflated it. BIG let down. Not an air mattress at all. Pas du freakin tout. Its one of those things campers roll out before they unfold their sleeping bags. Don't worry, mom, I'll thank him anyway. The thought and all that.

Saw it Coming

So Miss Honey got the ax today. They told her yesterday that she had until friday to get her stuff in gear and beat it, but around 3pm today they told her to clear out her desk and go. I, of course was in class, but the kids filled me in over the course of the day. The Mistress and her Sister already had it out for Miss Honey, but today she made a girl cry...?

Not having been there, I can't know the exact reason or provocation that led to this 7 year old ending up in tears, yet, but I feel like there are large pieces of the story missing. Ruby made sure to sit us all down in pairs and explain the reason Miss Honey lost her job and to explain that her, Ruby's, only fault in the whole thing was trusting this woman to come all the way to their school and be a good teacher. Ruby has, afterall, given her a number of chances and Miss Honey has failed every test.

I'll have to wait til a weekend, probably, to gather all the information from the other teachers about the exact order of today's events. Since they live with Nark, its pretty hard to have an open conversation with them unless we're all sitting in the same room outside the school.

While they were watching a real live Korean soap, I was sitting in a near perfect lesson with The One. Ten pages of homework, ladies and gentlemen, TEN. Approximately 200 questions and only 2 mistakes. Silly mistakes, too. He misread "women" as "woman" and used the wrong verb conjugation and then misspelled "starring." Thats it. In an effort to be modest, I won't take all the credit for that, but I'll go ahead and voice what we're all thinking. Erin is an english grammar teacher the likes of which Korea has never seen before.

Worth missing today's drama play out? I think so.


A new teacher arrived on sunday and has been running through his training in high speed since yesterday. He's occupying the room we only just vacated in the Kims' place which must be the reason why they moved us into an apartment without any furniture as well as the guiding force behind Miss Honey's untimely dismissal.

I believe Miss Honey had a hand in training her replacement, as well.

Sometimes When the Clouds Open Up, Its Okay.

I know some of you were worried all weekend. I left you hanging. "Is she in for the scolding of a lifetime?"

No, she is not! She rocks so hard that she got a new schedule. All those "Erin's" on friday? That was a fully satisfied parent explaining how totally miffed she was going to be if this headmistress even tried to hand her daughter over to another teacher. You hear that, Ruby? Two points for Erin.

Now I've got her 5 days a week for 90 minutes. Come on, its Harry Potter. Now I have back to back classes MWF with no lunch period. Huh. How on earth am I going to stay friendly now?

Anyways, to celebrate the stabilization of my job situation, we had the boys over for some Jenn made dinner. Tortilla espanola- Looks like an omelette, tastes like a beautiful day. I guess the boys agree, cause there were no leftovers.

Now that the boys have been over, this place is starting to seem pretty darn fabulous. They live with Narky and Madame Director drops in whenever she feels the need. She do that to us? No sirree. We live more than half an hour from them. So we have to take a 40 minute bus to school. C'est pas grave. That forty minutes is the best thing about this apartment. It cuts off weekend communication from the boss.

The worst thing? The spotty internet we are most definitely stealing from somewhere.

Sketchville, S. Korea.

Moving Day!!!

We were super bummed a few hours ago when we attempted to head out for some bangin indian food, only to be stopped by our Mistress's son. That kid is all kinds of shady. We walked quietly past the sleeping form on the sofa only half wondering if it'd moved since the night before and head towards the door. We make it out the door, put our shoes on and turn to see the miniKim through the window on the floor of the guest room with cellphone in hand. Suddenly the phone inside starts ringing and Mr. Kim runs through the door to stop us. So he called his dad, huh? Was that the plan last night, too?

Stop, he says, its moving day!
Moving day? Do we have time to get food? We're so hungry... no food all day...
Its moving day!!
Okay, but can we go get some food? Real quick?
They'll be here soon, moving day. New apartment today.
Yeah okay. Soooo, no time to eat...?

Thirty minutes later we've had enough. We're done with the not being fed nonsense. We decide to put our foot down. I was getting me some sushi.

Annnnd I ended up with ramen. Facing the wrath of his wife, Host Dad whips up some five minute ramen. We dig in just as Ruby walks in the door. I'm shoveling food into my mouth as fast as humanly possible- okay. As fast as 21 chews possible. SUCCESS.

Away we go.

MOVING DAY!!

......








Sooo. Here's the apartment, but where's the fully furnished? Where are the dishes, the silverware, the chairs? Oh, is this my bedroom? Yeah, its nice, but wheres the closet? No chest of drawers?

Where are the beds? Is beds part of the deal? (Yeah. I teach english.)

Bars on the windows? Thats alright I guess. Is it always this cold? No I'm not scared of my room. The bars mean safe, right?

They took us shopping so we could buy any necessities. We shopped up a storm.

My favorite item? The floor mat we bought for the living room. Its covered in all kinds of kiddy animals having fun.

The Monkey Mat: sure beats sleeping on the floor.

This Must Be How Captain Hook Feels

I still jump at the sound of Ruby's voice coming down the hallway, but there's a new sound that gets my heart pumping. Her cellphone rings so often that its actually possible to track where she is in the school by how loud the ringing is. I've noticed the kids stop what theyre doing and listen in whenever they hear the sound coming closer. I can't be sure, but I think we are stopping for different reasons. The clue? The kids sit up straighter and look set to wave should the Mistress come round the corner and look in the window. Me? I hold back the urge to duck and cover. The desks look pretty sturdy, I guess...

I got called into the head office today. A little surprised to find it was not exactly the 10th circle of Hell that I had imagined, but I wouldn't rule out its being a circle all together. No worries, gang, I was just getting a schedule. YES. A real schedule. They really tried to fit HPGirl into my schedule, but it just wasn't happening. I had to settle for giving her up yet again. Its gotten to the point where I can't be sure if it'd be better to keep her or give her up. I dunno, maybe I just don't want to make questions for a book I'm not actually gonna get to teach.

I did put in a bid for Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, though, while sitting in the Hot Seat. As a New York Times Bestseller, I figured what the hey. Might as well, right?

Absolutely. Thank You, Oprah, for putting Pride and Prejudice and Zombies on your Summer Must Reads in 2009. Oprah. She really is world famous. New York Times? Whatever.

How's that for incentive, PandPBoy? And, yes. I'm THE authority on Pride and Prejudice. I really can teach this thing without even thinking about it. You have a question, I have an answer. Read me a paragraph and I can explain it. Weird english? Bring it.

Its not all fun and lit, though. California threw me under the bus today.

"Grammar.... yeah... I think Erin said something about wanting to teach that... yeah I'd have to say you should give that kid to her."

Amazingly enough, it was one of those under the bus, but still safe moments. This kid is The One. The reason for going to school. Grammar? I got this. Yup. I have a favorite. He wants to learn and I've discovered I want to teach him. He's the reason I walk into school with a smile. He's mega adorable. Even cuter than his little bro who responds to any english with "I'm fine how are you? Okay see you later." Yeah. Cuter than that.

We're still thinking saturday is moving day, cause theyre still saying it. We'll see what happens. I'm over this super uncomfortable bed.

Ah! And I learned a very important phrase today:
Dewedgy gogi.

Wave you arms in front of you while saying this to leave out the pig.

I hear that a lot now.

Thursday: check.
Come on Friday!

Doesn't Snow in Korea? Someone Lied to my FACE.

It has only just occurred to me that it has snowed almost every day I've been here. It didnt really seem like that much but looking back I realized that this city has no plan for snow removal or any idea what salt is or what it can do for your roads and sidewalks. The cars and people just pack the snow down so it turns to ice every night. Its a lot like Pittsburgh in that its all hills. Tons of fun for sledding, no es bueno for walking. Yet another reminder on not knowing how good you have it til someone takes away both your table salt and road salt.

Not to mention, Narky does most of our driving to and from school. This guy is hell on wheels. Throw in some ice, take away the snow tires, pull out the seat belts and, just for fun, pack the road with other reckless drivers and its enough to get your heart pumping. Nothing like a shot of adrenaline to start the day. If I never ride in a car with him again it'll be too soon. I didnt fly my butt halfway around the world to kick the bucket in a parking garage.

Other than that, the days are actually starting to flow together quite nicely. Its hard to believe that even 5 days ago I was convinced this was never going to work. There's no structure, there's so much stress, I don't speak the language, I never know what I'm doing, and to top it all off I'm halfway to homeless. Its amazing the kinds of situations a person can adapt to. I think I've finally reached the point where I can just accept whatever they throw at me. Its pretty liberating. Que sera sera, right? Right.

I got HPGirl back, too! So I get to teach her again tomorrow which is great. In your face Jenn!

I got a new student today and I have to say I think I've found my favorite. Kid2 is awesome. This kid is so excited about learning english he makes me want to learn about grammar. I knew the second I walked into the classroom that this was gonna be the one. The kid I wait all day to teach. Mostly cause the first thing I did when I walked into the classroom was stub my toe. He laughed once, covered his mouth and tried to keep the laughter out of his voice as he asked if I was alright. Oh yeah. Thats my kinda kid.

We learned the first 16 letters of the alphabet this evening over some spicy Shin Ramen (yes, dad, the same kind as that big case sitting in the laundry room) and I realized that I may be a little competitive after all. As soon as I heard I could learn the alphabet in a week I wanted- no. Needed- to beat California. He knows a little of the language already and loves to throw a word in here and there as needed. He tries to act humble, but I've got an eye for smuggery. I give it 1 month. I WILL be better than California. Just wait.


And that Shin Ramen? It was great. In Korea they add vegetables and eggs. Oh its amazing.

Then the Clouds Opened up and God Said, "I hate you Alfalfa."

So somehow The Giver has turned into Harry Potter, which is super unfortunate since I wasted precious weekend time writing flipping questions that were both in depth and wonderful. Whatever, how hard can it be to teach Harry Potter? Not hard at all. This girl knows everything there is to know about Harry Potter already. She's basically reading the books to figure out what the english words are so she can explain, in depth, the discrepancies between book and movie to those who only speak english. She practically runs the class herself. She stops at regular intervals to discuss what she's read and she's so eager to answer questions that the hour we spend together is the fastest hour of my day. Its at the end too, which is just exactly when I need a little pick me up. I was even a little excited to write the next set of questions.

The day was going pretty great, too. All the foreign teachers got scolded today. All, that is, but me. Thats right, this kid right here was totally on her game today. I aced Kid1, PandPGirl and now this HPGirl. Things were looking up, there was even talk about me getting to teach an actual class on Pride and Prejudice, since I rock so hard.

Then something happened, and though I can't quite describe what it was, it sucked. I was handed a pair of slippers, which I can only assume means my socks have become disruptive. Then Ruby gave HPGirl to Jenn AFTER I had already done the questions for the next chapter. Its because I have 2 new students who want the same time slot and I'm already teaching Pride and Prejudice to a student.

Boys. My two new students are boys. How the double hockey sticks am I supposed to teach Jane Austen to a couple of Dudes!? I can't even begin to figure out how to make this better. The love story is the best part! Having a bit of insight into the mind of guys has convinced me this is going to be oh so unfortunate. I can't even imagine having to teach this to my bros. Oh god. Now I've imagined it.

It's gonna be UNFORTUNATE.
I should've known. Breakfast this morning was purple rice.

Like, what makes it purple?

I Would've Given it to You Last Night, But You Were Out Too Late...

We spent most of the day just relaxing from our hoppin friday and saturday, resolved to make it through til next January. No running away in the middle of the night for this chica, no siree. Ruby stopped by the room to let us know that our new home would be ready for us to move in THIS WEEK!!!!

She then proceeded to hand me The Giver and tell me that I would need to write questions for them asap so my new student could read and answer them before Monday. She even added "I wanted to give them to you last night, I waited up for you, but it was very late and I went to bed." I could only wonder how much we missed her by, and be ever so grateful that I didn't have to come home from a night of most excellent fun to talk about work. As soon as we leave this place we're having a "Never answer the door on the weekend" rule. Its harsh, I know, but we will not be accepting walk ins. Work will just have to stay at work. And, Lord, I have never been so happy to not have a cellphone. Being unreachable is amazing.

We harbored no illusions that we would be fed today, so we went out to walk the area and see what we could find that was edible. I got some of the most delicious sushi I have ever had for under $5 and Jenn- being against anything of a fishy nature- grabbed a half-way decent pizza. Actually, scratch that. It was the best sushi I've ever had. I may go back tomorrow when they dont give us dinner and get it again. It had real crab and excellent veggies.

We checked out the fruit market on the way back and I realized that Jenn gets tons of free stuff wherever she goes. She suspects it has something to do with how exotic she looks. She got free mandarins. I did too, but, being a white, I can only assume its because I was walking so close to her.

Ruby had more after hours conversation for us and I learned that the reason the school was hesitant to hire me was because I was too quiet during the phone interview. She was worried she'd end up with another Neil. Oh Neil of the sweater vests...
Anyways, I had to explain that at 2 am it was a little hard for me to be enthusiastic. She tried to argue that it was 11pm in California... Which, as you can imagine, was hardly an argument at all. She mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like "ugh stupid recruiters" and the night ended on a high note.

I told Jenn when we first touched down in Korea that I had no plans to half-a** this adventure. If I was gonna leave it was gonna be either week 1 or week 52. Looks like I'm in it to win it now.

The Mandarin Surprise

Breakfast has been eggs and rice for like 3 days now. Man I miss salt. For that matter, I miss food. We're not entirely sure if we're allowed to touch the fridge or not, but I'd rather go hungry than risk it. There's usually mandarins on the table to beef up the meal, but Mr Kim went ahead and pureed them again. On its own mandarin pulp is Yuck, but today it was more like mandarin surprise. Onions. Onions was the surprise. (yeah, mom, how's that for grammar?) Not quite a broken shoelace, but not a banner start to day 3.

I figured, however, that if I was gonna get knocked down, might as well make it one hell of a fall. I know, right? Again with the optimism. When will this chick ever learn?! To be honest, I think I've laughed more in the last 7 days than I have in the last 2 years. Everything is just so ridiculous and incredible. Its hard to be upset about anything. Its almost like its TV, so theres no need to worry about what happens. Its like it has no bearing on the real world.

I'm starting to suspect I've sold my soul. I have a new personality, I accept scolding for things I know I haven't done, and I apologize ALL THE TIME. And I HATE apologizing. Not only that, but I'm living with my boss even though I was promised a home. Even worse, I have no idea if this apartment thing is ever even gonna pan out. Where did Erin Go? Obviously the Twilight Zone.

There's actually another teacher coming next week and I was telling Jenn that there's no way we can still be here then, cause where would they put him? Jenn's already on the floor. Jenn says, "Dude. They would just put him with the boys." Damn. I forgot about the boys. DUH. Oh I'm a dumdum. They can keep us here as long as they want. They've already got my soul.

Apparently I was too harsh on the mandarin surprise. The sun came out this afternoon. Thank God too. We all know how unwelcome morning sun can be. Especially if the room faces east...

Anyways, I got a redo with Kid1 and he told Ruby and her sister that I was GREAT. Yeah. Capital Letters. Thats like Tony the Tiger great. Bravo, Erin. Two points!! Better than that, I'm getting a second student tomorrow and teaching Mother-Loving Pride and Prejudice!!! Score! Pride and Prejudice I can do. Mr. Darcy is my kind of guy. I know how dangerous it is to get those hopes up too high, but how can this possibly go wrong? (I just paused to see if I could hear any thunder rolling in. We're good.)

Thats right, Ladies and Gentlemen. I, the political science major, am now a Lit teacher. Thanks, Mom. Having read more books than the average college grad has been my saving grace. I may get scolded for a lot of things, but it won't be because I've never read the book. Bank on it.

"But did she get yelled at today?"

No, she did not. Not once. I guess the mandarin surprise was my special day maker. I still get hives whenever Ruby says my name and I try not to make eye contact, but I'm starting to think I can do this. The hardest part of the day is the time I wait for the elevator to take me up to the 3rd floor. The school floor. For some reason I always get this tightness in my chest and my hands start tingling. Once the doors open up onto the 3rd floor it goes away, amazingly enough. Oh anxiety.

Jenn still has more students than me, but at least the score is starting to even out. I'm pretty sure I'm gonna end up with at least one of Miss Honey's classes. Miss Honey, by the way, was not so Miss Honey today. "Maybe there's something to Ruby's whole thing with her after all..." says another teacher. And no, it wasn't me who said it.

Its only 10 pm here, but I'm ready to turn in. We stayed up so late last night that I just cant even focus on the screen very well. I've gotten to the contacts sticking to the eyelids phase, so I'll wrap it up here.

I'm not real sure when we get real classes, but I'm not even really sure I want them. One student is stressful enough, and for now it looks like I'm stuck in trainee mode. I will admit it is fun sitting in on California and Miami's classes. It's nice to get teaching ideas.

No dinner yet, but I'm willing to skip it for a nice long sleep. I wonder how long til they stop giving us breakfast too...

Put me in coach. I'm Ready to PLAY.

Somehow, a Unisom induced great night led me into yet another optimistic morning. It just felt like a clean slate. I was refreshed, refueled and ready (how's that for alliteration?) for some petite dejeuner to start my second day. Breakfast was leftovers from the dinner we weren't invited to last night. It was pretty tasty, but I couldn't help thinking that if there were enough leftovers to feed 2 people, why didnt we get any last night? Obviously they thought we were eating too much of their bread for breakfast. I wonder if it would move the apartment situation forward if we tried eating them out of house and home.

So, looking forward and looking good (dress code: check.) I was ready to try again. I was told to follow Miss Honey today and Miami tomorrow. Okay. So today I'll do whatever it was they thought they asked me to do yesterday. Its almost like a re-do. And actually, it was.

Sitting in Miss Honey's classes I understood where the problems started. The woman is very soft-spoken and sweet, but she is BORING AS HELL. Oh man. It was hard for me to sit still in that class. I couldn't help fidgeting and yawning. I'm almost positive the kids were counting how many times I changed position or covered my mouth for a yawn. I'm yawning now just thinking about it. Oh man, it was 5 hours of this. I needed a nap so bad and I could only imagine what the kids were thinking. Calif told me later that apparently they weren't bored at all. They were too engrossed in what Rainbow Sock Teacher was doing and wearing to be bored with Miss Honey.

Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen, thats me. I am Rainbow Sock Teacher. As far as I can tell its the best nickname so far. Miss Honey is Scary Teacher and Calif. is Wedding Dress. Miami's name is still in the brainstorming phase after a failed attempt to make Black Teacher stick. Poor Miami. He said he would've settled for brown, but they need to go back to the drawing board. Unfortunate to be sure, but I was really glad he had a horror story to entertain us. I absolutely laughed out loud. A lot. We probably should've been worried about offending them, but it was just so nice to laugh at someone else's misfortunes. Jenn and I were pretty upfront with our personalities when we first met them, so we say and act with them the way we act with each other. They haven't run for the hills yet, so success! Of course, it is still early.

I digress. So while sitting in Miss Honey's class I had Centerfield by John C. Fogerty running through my head. When was I going to get my chance to shine?! Jenn was already on day 2 of private tutoring and I was still stuck in Shadow Phase. This was so LAME! So when Ruby came in at 7:30 offering Jenn a session at 7:45 with a new boy, I grabbed it. No way was I going to stay awake for anymore shadowing today. I could hardly contain my nerves while I waited for this kid to show.

No, I did not have a panic attack. He is just one kid after all. Ruby told me to do some grammar and then make a lot of conversation. No real guidelines, sooo.... since I was using the same book as Jenn for the tutoring I figured I would just try to follow along with what she had been doing with her kids.

I thought I did great! I didnt want to get ahead of myself, cause there's always the risk of falling when you get up too high, but I couldn't help myself. This kid, Kid 1, was fun. Shy at first, but once he started talking he wouldn't shut up. He loved my Beatles journal, he practically memorized the plot from A Christmas Carol and by the end of the lesson he was talking politics. Uh oh... maybe we should've gone farther in the grammar book... I didn't want to overload the kid, but once they start talking politics you know you've got to step up your game. I sensed the potential for a misunderstanding....

Not that I'd let it deter me from getting my turn. I figured I'd have to hear about it at home later anyway, might as well enjoy my night out with the foreign teachers. And I did enjoy it. We went for Korean barbeque and everyone split the beef option. There was food all over this table. For just $30 what a great deal. They treated us like royalty. We got beef that you cook at the table, a fish tail, garlic, dipping sauces, mushrooms, peppers, onions, lettuce, salads and soups. Rice, congealed blood cubes, pickled all kinds of stuff, and of course, Kimchi. I assured everyone I have no problem eating at the same table as pork eaters. There was plenty of other stuff at the table to enjoy, but they went beef anyway and it was heaavennnlyyyy.

And $30 EACH?!?! What the H?! There was a lot of food but certainly not $120 worth of food. Ridiculous. Of course, when you consider its the first real meal we've had in days, Its just a minor setback. It's 3 days of meals for $30. Sure sounds like a silver lining to me...

We ended up back at E-Mart for our daily hangout time. Jenn had some more stuff to buy and some returns to make. Erin-Mart was fabulous, as always. If I had to choose, E-mart is way better than Lotte Mart, though maybe just because there's that great big E on the front of the building.

California and Miami shared their first impressions of us as well.

C: "You guys were just so happy and giddy."
M: "Yeah like there was so much energy and it was like I felt kinda guilty, you know."
C: "Oooh yeaahh... Cause we just knew you were gonna hate life in like 2 days. It was kinda sad, but we couldn't say anything cause the director was Right There... and you were so happy taking pictures of the Pizza Hut box..."

Humor is quite the effective coping mechanism and has certainly gotten us through some rough times. And that pizza box was really cute.


Next came the big talk with Ruby. She started out strong with some talk about how the lessons have to be harder because private lesson students pay 5 times as much as group session students and the school has a very good reputation and the reputation is already hard to keep up and she made an excuse for us that made her look bad etc etc. Bottom Line: Make Kid 1 really work himself out. Whatever that kid says he can do, add at least 2 pages to it. She probably would've gone on and on, but Jenn came in at that point and talk shifted towards what we both can do to improve our lessons to make them more fulfilling for the students. Then it kind of ran a tangent around how she dislikes certain teachers. A topic we could NOT seem to get past.

Three hours later we got her back on topic and asked a ton of questions. I've been told I'm allowed to be loud and yell at the students. Which is great. I'm a big fan of volume. Oh! She also apologized for yelling at me over the phone! Apparently when she heard I didn't understand she had flashbacks to some traumatizing moment between her and Miss Honey. I imagine there will be similar moments in the not so distant future.

She was ridiculously nice and normal. Her acting normal scares me, just sends my heart racing. I was almost sucked into trusting this woman. Befriending her or whatever. But I just couldn't. I feel like I should be loyal to the other teachers, cause you just can't trust crazy.

Blank Stare never works. Just accept it.

Oh Lord. First day of school today. A day both exciting and nerve wracking.

After 2 days of bread and egg meals, I was more than ready for some first day of school excitement. I confessed to Ruby last night that the only socks I own are mismatched and brightly colored. She laughed and said that as long as they don't have any holes in them it would be fine. HUGE weight off my shoulders. Brand new wardrobe: check. Okay on the socks: check. So I've never been a language teacher before, c'est pas grave. Anything I don't know, I'll just ask. I was ready. What could possibly go wrong, right?

Why do people even think those words. The second they enter your mind it all hits the fan. The American influence on Korea is so strong that I thought the language barrier would be my biggest hurdle.

It defies all logic. It's possible to get in trouble for things you'd never even think of. Things that aren't even your fault. Three times just today! This woman is a whole big bag o' Crazy. Angry one minute, laughing and joking around the next. You just never know what to say or do. The slightest thing can spark a crazy rage and before youre done apologizing she's just laughing it off. And, man, I've never apologized so much in my life.

The first snag we hit was when Ruby came into my room, looked at my outfit and told me I was not up to the dress code. I thought maybe I was dressed too casually, (which, as many of you know, is a common problem with me) but before I could assess how to fancy up, "You cannot have underwear showing. It is not good I think. You will have to be changing," she says.

Huh? Underwear what? I was wearing highrise jeans and I even had a tank top to conceal all possible cleavage. I guess Blank Stare was an inappropriate response. "You will have to change, you can't wear that. The teachers in Korea are conservative. They do not let their underwear show!" Even though Blank Stare had already failed once, apparently I went ahead and used it again, because she seemed to be getting more and more agitated. Finally she starts pointing at the tank top. Aha! So lace is underwear. Gotcha. Though conservative by American standards, the lace trim at the top was close enough to lingerie to distract young students. So I rifled through my suitcases real fast trying to find something in my wardrobe that didnt need a tank top underneath and found a short sleeve number I covered in a wrap. She was less than patient. I dont wanna be bitter about the no home thing, but if I had had my own apartment and the ability to unpack my bags, finding a replacement outfit would've gone so much quicker.

Well a bumpy start to what could still be an otherwise wonderful day. When adjusting to new environments its best to just look ahead, I always say. Which is good, cause I imagine I'll be saying it a lot more now. The day was young and, optimistic as I was, I refused to let a dress code snafu run me off course.

Before I continue, I think its necessary to introduce a few new characters in this wild and crazy adventure. As I mentioned before, the first thing Ruby and Mr Kim did after dropping us off at their apartment was take us to meet two of the other new teachers: California (1 month), and Miami (1 week). Tools. The first thing that came to my mind was brown-nose and friend. The director loved these two so much there was no way we could trust them. She had spent over an hour praising these boys and trash talking Valerie (the Anti-Christ. 1 month). And Lord did they turn trash talking into an art form. Valerie was awful, she was abrasive and she yells all the time. Why dont they just fire this girl, she sounds so terrible. Jenn and I decided the first night we could trust no one. It was gonna have to be just us, doing Korea on our own.

We get to school and meet Valerie. Well, she introduced herself as Valerie, but I was skeptical. No horns. She wasn't ten feet tall and her eyes weren't glowing. In fact, she was down right sweet and soft spoken. Helpful even... A regular Miss Honey. While we're sitting and talking to Miss Honey, California and Miami come strolling in, everyone getting ready to start the day. Without Ruby around the boys were almost normal (as far as boys go, of course) and I started to wonder if Madame Director used fear tactics to keep these foreign teachers in line.

Yes. Fear is exactly how this lady plays. The woman blows hot and cold like nobody's business. Thank God there were three teachers already in this school to help show us the ropes and explain the situation. Unfortunately, the three foreign teachers from before appear to have been completely whipped into submission. There are 6 basic rules when working at this school:

1. Apologize whenever you can. Just accept the fact that in their eyes you are wrong.
2. Ask questions all the time. If you're not doing something right ignorance is no excuse.
3. Show no emotion. Frustration, irritation and anger are inappropriate and unacceptable. Remain aloof.
4. Accept the fact that they will house, pay and feed you whenever they like. Gentle nudging is okay. As long as its Gentle.
5. They're going to test you for at least the first month. Its going to be a mountain of missteps. Remain aloof.
6. ALWAYS write in the notebook.


I don't really know what the notebook is for, but I'll be spending some time taking a look at whats going on in there.

So while sitting and waiting for classes to begin, I sat and helped one of the other teachers grade papers. Why not, right? I had been told that I would be following the other teachers all day so why not take a look at the reading materials? See how the guy grades. Smooth sailing so far. I knew it. It definitely wont be as bad as I feared.

Two steps out of the teacher's lounge:

"Ah! Erin, Erin, Did Ruby told you to follow to Miss Honeys lessons today?" Narky, Ruby's youngest brother and the male teachers' roommate, is sitting at the desk looking frantic. (and, no, he did not call her Miss Honey)
"Miss Honey? No, she said for Jenn to follow her."

He gets back on the phone seeming agitated and I could almost hear the smack of my stomach hitting the floor. Uh Oh. Whats going on here?

"Here. You talk."
"Hello?"
Man. Was she unpleasant. I can't remember exactly what was said, which I can only attribute to the fact that I was so taken aback at the fact that she was yelling into the phone and I couldn't even think of what might have made her so angry. I did take away a few telling phrases in between my profuse apologies including: "I told you to follow Miss Honey," "when I tell you to do something you have to do it," "Why are you even here if you are not going to be serious about it," and wrapping up with a nice "Just go where I telled you to follow Miss Honey! We are professional!!"

Click aaand dial tone. Looking back, its weird that I wasn't upset about being yelled at on my first day when she had never mentioned any specific teacher I should be following. I wasn't even angry. Under normal circumstances I probably would've cried, but I just fell back on good ole reliable Blank Stare. Narky reached for the phone and all I could say was, "Oh, she hung up."

Looking around, California was giving me a sympathetic look and Miami just looked like he was about to choke on all the drama. Oh Lordy... So I did what people do after they've checked out: I followed Cali to class and enjoyed myself. Maybe I'm a little crazy, too. I came back from class and apologized profusely (rule number 1) and she was all smiles and 'its okay' 's, soooo... one of us is most definitely crazy.

I continued following Cali around all day, figuring I'd continue doing what I had been told until I was told to stop. It mostly worked, too. It seemed as long as I was following Cali, everything was okay.

And then Jenn got the call. Her luggage was lost. Well and truly lost. That woman at United was beyond incompetent. I was so wrapped up in what Jenn was doing that I missed California's exit. I looked around and suddenly there were no teachers to follow. I tried to get around Mr Kim to ask Ruby if she needed me to stay with Jenn because we were supposed to set up our online accounts or if I should go follow California. Mr Kim would not get out of the way. I tried to explain to him that Jenn was very upset (meaning I didnt think we would be able to do the accounts) and that California's class had already started. He looked at me and said he would ask Ruby. I tried to insist- which failed- saying that I thought I should ask her (especially since I already had 2 strikes and it was only 6 hours into my first day) but he was already out the door and on the way to ruining my evening. Well... I got the results I expected. Ruby came flying into the room to "explain" that I could not stay with Jennifer, because I had to be my own teacher. There was no day or class where we would ever be together. I should go where they tell me and just stop. She sent me to Miss Honey's class.

Fifteen minutes later Jenn walked in. Someone gott confuuuuuseddd. (I just sang that outloud. Try to imagine it.) No day or class, huh? My stomach felt like I just ate a great big piece of crazy cake.

First days are always hard though, right? And it wasn't a complete waste. Miss Honey took Jenn to E-Mart so the boys and I tagged along. E-mart was like a Sears, but with food. Maybe like a Giant under a Sears. Amazing. Anti-christ, Tool and Friend were actually... a lot of fun. They were stuck floundering in the Sea of Crazies right along side us. They all felt like no one prepared them for this kind of environment and no one was there to help them out. Oh, how I Love E-Mart. E is for Erin and E is for Eggcellent. The night more than made up for the day. Jenn got a blanket and some clothes, I got a teacher appropriate tank top, and we made California, Miami and Miss Honey family. As long as we could sneak back into the apartment I could just sleep it off and start anew.

We caught a cab and headed back home. No sneaking in, of course, cause we didnt have the code. It was after 10, but we figured we'd still be just in time for dinner. Well we walked in and talked to ruby about the day and the shopping trip. I noticed that Ruby was looking at what I was holding and once she realized I knew I would be in trouble: Jenn's blanket. By bringing home a blanket it would look like we were unhappy with their hospitality. Mega Rude. No way was I getting the yelling words again. I did what any sane person would do; I threw Jenn under the bus. Yup. UNDER THE BUS. Why not? She hadn't been yelled at even once and she was borrowing my brand new boucle sweater. I figured she owed me one. Am I proud of it? No, but having lost her luggage gave her a few more freebies and I already had 3 strikes.

It was all okay. Like I said, she had freebies. She just said that she was Puerto Rican and can't stand to be cold. She just lost her luggage after all and she had a great big down comforter in there.

Well, we haven't had dinner yet, but we heard the sounds of dinner coming from the kitchen. No one came to get us. I guess they're done feeding us...? When on earth are they gonna get a move on and get us our own place?!

I think Jenn should ask.

Smile. You're on Korean Reality Television.

We have been trying to be discreet about drinking water out of the bathroom sink, but yesterday when we got back from the store I manned up and went to explore the kitchen. I was on a mission to find cups and hit a snag when Plan A (Check cabinets by the sink) failed and resulted in Plan B (Check the other 23 cabinets). As luck would have it, I only had to check 16 before I found some mugs. I filled them up and brought them back to the room where Jenn just had to comment on how shady it was that I went snooping in the kitchen opening all the cabinets while they were away. Well if they had been there the mission wouldve been totally unnecessary, of course, but made me paranoid none the less. Will they notice if 2 cups go missing? Maybe. They dont have that many I guess. Oh man! They'll definitely notice! We have to put them back! So we downed the water and I made my way back to the kitchen to wash the cups and place them back into the cabinet where I found them.

Later, when Mr. Kim told us he would see us in the morning, (right after we found out dinner was 'fend for yourself') he called Jenn over to show her which cabinet had the cups. I was already back in the bedroom when Jenn came back in to deliver the message and I was immediately suspicious. Out of 24 cabinets, why did he only point out the cups cabinet? Did he somehow know I had been opening all his cabinets just 4 hours earlier? I started to suspect there may be some surveillance going on... When I went out later to get a cup he rushed to introduce me to the cups cabinet and, just in case, I admitted that I had found it earlier.

Today our breakfast of bread, jam, 2 eggs (uncooked) and rice were sitting on the table for us to make ourselves. No problem. When called upon, I can be quite skilled in the art of Microwave . But what's this?! All the buttons were in Korean and not laid out in your typical 1-9 setup. I pressed the first button and 3 minutes went up on the clock. While waiting for the microwave to do its thing, I started to wonder where one might hide a nanny cam in their home. In that picture frame, perhaps? Inside that lamp shade? Or maybe inside one of the buttons on this microwave...

Lunch ended up being whatever we had left over from breakfast: 6 slices of bread and jam.

When it started to snow we went out onto the enclosed veranda to take pictures and in her peripheral vision, Jenn caught sight of a dome on the ceiling. It was a smaller version of the kind you might find in a store to house security cameras. A quick search led to the discovery of 2 other camera domes; one to watch the baby grand piano, one scoping out the kitchen and the other one the living room and enclosed veranda.

I feel like I'm on Big Brother. This led to a whole new realm of questions: are we being videotaped or perhaps a live feed? Is it video only or audio as well? Is there a smaller more discreet model somewhere in our room? The book shelf? That desk lamp could disguise a nanny cam... does it even turn on? ... yes. Inside that potted plant? Of course! Whats a teenage boy doing with a live plant in his room?! I went ahead and watered the plant. Smoke out the bug.

Are we being a touch paranoid?
Who's to say.

I promise the rest will be shorter.

January 1, 2010

I made it to Gwangju safe and sound, no worries. We arrived late on friday by about an hour and a half due to de-icing in Chicago. The flight was ridiculously long, but thankfully I had a window seat. Jenn convinced the reluctant fellow in the 3rd seat to relocate across the aisle. It was a tough sell; he seemed to be enjoying hanging out with us ladies, but his overhead light was malfunctioning and Jenn finally made the sale.

If I ever fly first class, it'll be Asiana Airlines. In coach we had 2 meals (1. steak, potatoes, veggies, dessert, 2. a spinach tomato omelette, yogurt, croissant, and juice), leg room, an endless supply of drinks and some swanky hot towels. Unfortunately, I had a seat that didnt recline and a suspicion that the fellow behind me might've been pushing forward as I leaned back. Fourteen hours upright was almost too much.

We arrived in Incheon and I was grateful to see my luggage already making its way around the baggage carousel. Jenn experienced no such emotion. All 3 of her bags were lost. The director's husband called the airline the next day and she learned that not only had they not made it to Korea, they hadn't even made it out of Baltimore. Thankfully I was on an earlier flight and was checked in by a woman who actually knew what she was doing.

We waited for 4 hours in Incheon Int'l for someone to come get us. Rose (our recruiter) gave us a phone number to call in case there was no one waiting for us at the airport. By the 3rd hour, we could only assume it was just a random series of numbers she had given to placate us. Finally the woman at the information desk was able to get ahold of someone on the other end of the line and we were told someone would come to take us to the bus station. Ten minutes later someone came for us, walked us 50 ft out the door and up to a bus. Really? We waited 4 hours for someone to escort us to a bus? He told us it would be about a 3 hour ride.

That sketchy man lied to our faces. The drive seemed to take forever. I nodded off for a while and when I woke up thought for a second I was watching the PA turnpike scenery fly by. It was all mountains and mini snow drifts. As soon as 3 hours had gone by, Jenn started imagining herself in every city we passed. I can't tell you how many times I was nudged awake as another city came into view with an "Erin! We're here! This has to be the one. Look there it is! Oh we made it!" Only to watch as the bus continued right on going. By the time we finally arrived 3 hours later the need to catch a glimpse of the city as soon as it came into sight was all but gone.

We arrived at the bus station in Gwangju more than ready for (and desperately in need of) a shower and some dinner in our new apartments. I even stole toilet paper out of the bus station bathroom to make sure I wouldn't have to go shopping til the morning. Ruby, the director, and her husband, Mr. Kim, picked us up from the bus station and escorted us to a car with just enough trunk space for 1 of my suitcases and the wheelie carryon. A small silver lining to the fiasco that is Jenn's lost luggage. I wonder what their plan was for getting us to our new apartments...

No worries. They had no intention of taking us to our new apartments. They packed us in their car and drove us to their home where we were told we would be staying for the night and that they would take us to our apartment in the morning. When we asked Mr Kim if that meant we would be living together he said he didnt really know what his wife had planned for us. When we asked his wife, she told us that she had intended for us to work at the new school they were opening on tuesday, but Gwangju law is ambiguous on whether teachers with a visa for one school can work for a different school under the same director.

So she not only hedged, she brought up an issue of which we were not even aware. Apparently they had intended for us to work at the new school, but we can't because the visa information they gave us was for the old school and Gwangju Immigration services wont allow us to work for the new one even though it is affiliated with the one our visas cleared us for. ALSO, they were planning on pushing our departure date back a while so we could get visas for the new school, but because Jenn called our recruiter and threatened to back out, they had to bring us over right away. Thank God, too, because I definitely was not going to go back and do the whole visa thing over again.

So we just figured we'd shower, go to bed and deal with it in the morning. Well, that plan failed. They took us on a tour of the city, then to see the school, then we dropped by, unannounced, to visit 2 of the other new teachers and take them to dinner at Pizza Hut where we asked for cheese pizza and our "host parents" ordered pepperoni and supreme. Eggcellent. To be fair I hadn't yet explained to them that I don't eat pork. We didnt get back til after 11. If I'd been in my own apartment, I'd have been asleep before the shower was even over, but because I've got a host family, I met my new co-workers right after 39 hours of travel. I was gross, but when your host family plans dinner, you dont have a lot of options.

Then we were taken to our bedroom where we couldnt help but notice that there was only one twin bed. Jenn got a futon on the heated floor and I got the bed, unfortunately. It's almost like sleeping on plywood. I tried my hardest to trade, but all Jenn had to do was sit on the bed for a minute before she realized who'd win in that exchange.


January 2, 2010

We got up this morning and Mr. Kim made us breakfast. I just wanted cereal and a glass of water. No cereal here, we had this beef broth soup stuff with tofu, beef pieces, eggs, onions, and potato looking things (which were actually gelatinous rice flour blobs) with a side of Kimchi and- because I don't eat slow enough already- all we were given was a pair of flat stainless steel chopsticks. It takes an entirely different set of hand muscles to hold and pick up food long enough to get it to your mouth. Not only that, but the flat metal doesnt provide any grip, so the noodles just slide away. And when I asked for water, I got weak tea that tasted like cashews. I know, right? Cashew tea. I tried to clarify and nearly got another cup of lukewarm cashew tea. So I waited for him to leave the room and ran to the sink and got Jenn and I some water. It felt like espionage. Jenn kept a lookout as I tried to fill our cups as quickly and quietly as I could. Then Mr. Kim came back! Jenn jumped, I jumped and we were caught. We tried to explain as politely as possible that just plain water from the tap was good enough for us. We haven't been offered the cashew tea since.

Sam, the Kims' son told us that the water is safe, but it tastes bad so Koreans drink the cashew tea instead. Water is water as far as I'm concerned as long as its clean and clear. It tastes like what comes out of my tap back home, so I'm perfectly content to drink it. Apparently most Koreans leave the tea in the fridge, but the Kims just leave it on the counter. Like Marie-Elizabeth and milk. I'm plagued by room-temperature-beverage-loving host parents.

Sam has assured me that by the end of the month I'll be an expert at the chopstick thing and eventually I'll just accept the cashew tea as a water substitute. He recently graduated highschool and is studying for his university exams. We were told he was 18, but he later informed us he was born February 1993. So not quite America 18. He passed the english equivalency exam with a perfect score when he was 12, gaining quite a reputation for his parent's school.

After breakfast, Mr. Kim offered to take us for a walk to see the area, which we thought meant the town, but really meant hiking the trail up the side of the mountain right behind the apartment building. It was a pretty trail, but I might not have worn clean jeans and a purse. Jenn wore the only shoes she had, leather Ugg boots with fur on the inside. Oh the mud...

Speaking of boots, we have been informed that, because the floors in the school are new and heated, we have to take our shoes off when we get there. The students and teachers only wear socks to class. Well Crap. I spent all that money on boots and wasted all that luggage space only to find out its a hippie shoe-free school. Worse than that, I didnt even pack matching socks.

So after our hike up the mountain, we came back and taught Sam how to play uno and while we socialized we explained our food preferences and he relayed them to his parents. We'll see if that does anything. Koreans eat alot of pork and seafood; I dont eat pork and Jenn doesnt eat seafood.

Lunch didnt start til 4. It was ramen noodles with real vegetables, mushroom and egg pieces. Sam and Mr. Kim tried teaching us the chopstick technique, but I was still the last person to finish. Nothing new there. I tried the kimchi (fermented spicy tomato cabbage leaves). Its not for me.

At dinner I realized they probably weren't going to acknowledge my no-pork request. There sitting on my plate was a pork chop-salisbury-steak-esque thing with rice and fresh veggies in apple yogurt. I'm a big fan of the veggies in fruit yogurt, as weird as that sounds.

We haven't heard anything else on what we're supposed to be doing come monday, or if we will ever get an apartment, either together or separately, but for now I've got a bed and regular meals.

Having the host family is nice, I guess, but I miss being able to eat and drink whatever I want whenever I want it and being able to just stay at home and chill instead of having to make conversation every waking minute.

January 3, 2010

We've been sleeping pretty much straight through the night so far. Thanks to Unisom I think we'll be able to survive jetlag.

Breakfast was pork curry and pureed clementines. Quelle dommage... a waste of perfectly good clementines.

So we got out of the apartment today and went around the city and went shopping for real food (like frosted flakes and white zinfandel). Buying shampoo and soap in Lotte Mart was different and there's a pretty good chance I ended up with conditioner instead. They have sales associates in every section of the store to assist the buyers and most of them know a word or two in english, but dont understand to save their lives. So there was a lot of pantomiming and laughing as they tried to guess what we were talking about. I felt like I was on a Korean game show. In the seafood section and deli they had karaoke machines and it looked like they were competing with each other for sales even though it was all the same korean super wal-mart place.

The Lotte Mart had a mini food court with exactly what you would expect to find in a knock-off Super Walmart: a knock off McDonald's. Trying to get a chicken sandwich sans mustard and teriyaki sauce was harder than one would think. The ketchup tasted like it was spiked with cocktail sauce. Certainly not up to par with Heinz. The meal as a whole wasn't bad, but shortly after we sat down we noticed a distinctive feet smell. Afraid it was us, we tried discreetly sniffing ourselves before we caught sight of a pot of what must have been steaming feet. Several of them, in fact. There will probably come a day when my curiosity reaches its peak and I break down and buy a pot of hot feet, but for now Lotteria is as risky as I get.

We took a cab back with the help of the little piece of paper Mr. Kim wrote for us with their address and the cabbie kept turning up the music to drown out our talking. We of course didnt take the hint, but it seemed to make him drive faster. It was about 4$ to get home from down town. The Kims dont live near anything but a mountain trail so I hope we dont live in this area.

Trying to get back into the building was crazy, of course. First we got the wrong building and confused a poor korean woman who didnt speak english shouting "HELLO. ITS JENNIFER. AND ERIN." Next we got the right building, wrong half, and stood confused when we typed in the bell number and didnt hear anything. No one answered in apartment 201 because apartment 201 does not exist on that side of the building. Finally we found the right building and right entrance and no one was there. We had a backup number for the director's mother who lives two floors up (the director's whole family lives in the same apartment complex) who doesnt speak ANY english but came down to let us into their home. So the family is out right now, which is pretty irritating since Mr Kim is the one who dropped us off at the store and he knew we would be coming home, so why on earth didnt they make sure someone was here to get us? A different kind of people, for sure.

We still dont know anything about whats happening tomorrow and we haven't seen Ruby since yesterday morning. She's just totally M.I.A. and her husband doesnt know anything about what her plans are for us. She hasnt made an appearance since friday night.

We didnt get dinner tonight; I guess they figured we had lunch out so we'd be okay til morning. Here's to hoping breakfast is big. And not too crazy.