Is It Just Me, Or Are Memories Sepia Colored?

I look back at all of these pictures of me posing with the people I have come to enjoy in Korea, and I am surprised to find that the photos are not also sepia. It all seems so long ago and, yet, still only yesterday. I can't believe I have lasted as long as I have. So long that I am 66% done with my stay already and have watched 4 coworkers go home. Back in the beginning I never imagined that the people I was with would leave so far ahead of me. I just assumed that we would all finish around the same time and all go through the same process of blending back into our real world lives. But I guess that all vanished around the time that Miss Honey was sent packing. I still thought the rest of us were safe, but Korea's crazy like that.

After we lost the hispanics, everything really started to change. With their departures happening within a week of each other, Boys' and Girls' Teams were both virtually disbanded. And in to fill the void, walked two power tools.

They didn't end up being as bad as I feared, but it was rocky for a while. Kids' Team did things differently. Different is so hard to adjust to sometimes. By the time I had fully accepted these replacements, the original tool was sent home. He boarded a plane this afternoon to begin his journey back into the real world. It's crazy, but I'm gonna miss him, too.


I hear people say, so often, "I wish I knew then what I know now."

I dont wish that. I'm glad I didn't know any better about hagwons and the crazy people who run them. I've had a crazy good time here with my kids and coworkers and knowing about the bosses would've stopped this adventure before it even began. I'm happier from not knowing any of these things back in December.

Much happier. I love Korea. And hagwons are only for a year. I can do that, just another 4 months. I'm tough. I'll get it done.

Every so often I like to look back over some of my thoughts and see how skilled I am at seeing into the future.
In February I thought I would get another turn being the teacher they dumped on, but failed to realize that I was actually the most experienced New School Employee. Having taught the very first class, meant that I probably would never get another turn as the least favorite teacher. My job was mostly secure. I also thought I'd be tan. So February wasn't my best month for future sight.

In March I was able to foretell that my fridge would fill itself with water and air and food would be scarce. I was still worrying that more giant furniture would somehow make it into my apartment. I need never have feared that though, the crazies left us alone for a while. I was still, however, convinced that I would be tan.

I did not anticipate the end of employment for my two friends in April and only made predictions about the new kids that were set to arrive that month. I thought Tooly would be yelled at all the time and we'd bond over his suffering. I thought Shadow would be alright since he was from Pittsburgh, and I guessed that ivleague would be anything but cool. So aside from not catching onto the firing and quitting vibes, I was pretty spot on in April.

In May I believed that I would have better korean than California. I was right.
In June, I predicted that Tooly would not make it to the end of his contract. Guess my future sight has been improving lately.

In July, I knew that I wouldn't have to worry about anyone yelling at me for a while, because they would be too busy breaking in my new roommate. I think first day firing counts as breaking in.

And I knew August was going to suck.

Looking back at all of my predictions, I seem to be getting pretty awesome at telling the future. That's how I know that September is going to be awesome.

Predictions:
1.) September is awesome.

See?
Here's one that is sepia.

Maybe I Can't Be Fired.

I missed the first half hour of my first class today. Incredible, right? I was at work a half hour early and got wrapped up in trying to catch up on everything, only to have Shadow come in at 2:25 and say, "Hey you got kids sitting in your class right now." I couldn't believe I let myself sink so completely into autopilot that I forgot I had to teach. Eight months ago, this would most certainly have sent me home.

And why did they just sit in there for so long without asking someone where their teacher was? Why didn't Narky do his usual nosy bit and alert me that I was slipping up? Class started 45 seconds ago?

Not that this is anyone's fault but my own. I've definitely lost focus lately. I have to make lists throughout the day to keep track of what needs to be done and what's already been accomplished and teaching is just not on those lists. I'm losing it.

And my Sunflower Class informed me that the class will be split in half on Wednesday. It's gotten 3 new students since I got it from Tooly and we no longer fit in any of the normal sized classrooms. Guess Ruby's tired of me messing up the board in her big grammar classroom. She hasn't mentioned the new class distribution, but I suspect she'll spring it on me wednesday a half hour before class. Whatever. As long as the class gets smaller- not bigger- I don't care.

Especially since she just handed me a new student. I was sitting in the Teachers' Lounge complaining to my roommate about the fact that I have no time to do anything and she had no classes all day, and suddenly another girl walks in.

"I'm starting classes here tomorrow, I'm looking for Erin?"
"Me? You're starting a class with me?"
"If you're Erin, then yes. Are there any books that I need?"
"Ummm... Did Ruby happen to mention when your class will be?"
"No, but I'm in 8th grade and she said you're my teacher."
I guessed and handed over books, "Ask Ruby if these are the ones she wants."

Something I never would've done had I been firing on full brain power. NEVER hand your books to students. Ruby will just assume it's okay to give them to the student until the next class. There goes any chance of accomplishing your work before class. It's gonna be another late night tomorrow.

Oh. And I have to come in early to teach that 30 minutes I missed this morning. I'm ready for September.

In 3D, the Korean Subtitles Pop Out at You, Too.

In an effort to kick this unreasonable fear of piranha, I took the other teachers (New Guy and Roomie) to see this terrifying 3D thriller.

It didn't work. Still scared of putting my feet into water where I can't see the bottom.

And now I'm afraid of underwater earthquakes.

So Maybe I'm a Little Competitive.

Whenever I walk by my roommate's room and hear her practicing her Korean, it sends me straight to my computer to get in as much practice as I can. I refuse to let this new girl pass me. I mean, come on, I've got 7 months on this chick.

Man. She's been here for 1 month now. She only has to put up with me for another 4 months.

Can she do it? Dunno. I'm pretty obnoxious...

"Erin Teacher's Father Works at Night."

A few months back, my kids were asking about the names of all of the members in my family, so, of course, I shared the info. Imagine my surprise today at hearing them change the example in the book, "Officer Smith works at night." Later in the same text, they created "Erin Teacher's mother wants peanuts, but she doesn't want candy." It used to just be Anne.

Stickers all around.

It's things like this that I make sure to hold onto when everything else around me starts dripping with crazy. My roommate nearly had a panic attack today when she had two students arrive for class at the same time. Two private lesson students. What made it better was that all of the Korean teachers had headed out for dinner at the same time. Isn't that cute. Us foreign teachers aren't allowed to do that. So she went to find Shadow to see if he could take one of them.

And in walks Shadow's student. I could tell something was up by the time they walked by the window of my room. I had this weird moment of nostalgia watching the two of them outside my window frantically pantomiming God only knew what. Finally, they cracked open the window. "Can we borrow you for a moment?"

I showed them where to find the list of phone numbers at the front desk so that she could call Narky and ask him what to do. Since it was his fault to begin with and he's sweet on her, I thought it might end better than if they called Ruby.

My kids thought it was dumb, too. "Where are all the Korean teachers?"

E: "Don't know."
K1: "Who made the schedule for her?"
E: "Not a clue"
K2: "So what is she going to do?"
E: "That is an excellent question."

I Don't Think That Means What You Think It Does.

There are so many situations that really make me question the level of these Korean teachers. There are just too many times when a conversation seems to go so horribly wrong for no other reason than a single sentence was mistranslated. Other times, we are left sitting and waiting for promises to be fulfilled. Are they just really good pretenders? Maybe they don't really know that much at all.

Tooly was fired twice and promised a plane ticket home. He has been unemployed and loitering for the last 2 weeks and finally decided to come in and see what was up.

R: "Oh! You have students waiting for you at the other school."
T: "Ruby... I was fired two weeks ago..."
R: "Yes, but you are going to teach kindergarten at the other school? You need to have at least 4 students for us to pay you the same amount."
T: "I think I would really rather just get back home."
R: "You don't want to teach them? You are quitting?"
T: "...it's not quitting. Remember? I was fired...? I just came in to ask about when I can expect that plane ticket home that we talked about."
R: "Oh, we didn't realize that you wanted to go home. No... we can't buy you a ticket. They are very expensive."

That's not what "fire" means, lady. Granted, this is a different country, society and work environment, but firing generally involves the removal of an individual from their position in a company. It tends to mean the dismissal of said individual. That usually cuts off relations with that former employee. But it doesn't seem to mean that here.

I have long suspected that Narky doesn't really know anything, but I think he knows this. Maybe he's just playing the Dumb Korean card the way I play the Dumb Foreigner card. Sometimes he says things, fully expecting that I will have to agree instead of argue to get my way. He is the boss's brother. Is it really worth the effort?

When he comes in to inform me at 9:15 that I will be starting my wednesday at 12pm, yes. I think it's definitely worth a "no." If I didn't have to stay til 11pm every night, I might be more sympathetic. No way in H am I putting in an 11 hour work day without some kind of overtime.

N: "Erin, do you remember that you have class tomorrow at noon?"
E: "Remember? No. I definitely don't have class at noon."
N: "Oh. Remember? Your two girls cannot come at 2, so you are going to come at 12? I thought you knew?"

Can't possibly remember something that never made it that far down the grapevine. And, no, I can't make it.
N: "What? Can't...?"
E: "Can't make it, no. I have things that I do in the morning, so I can't make it."
N: "...Did you told somebody?"
E: "I didn't realize that I was teaching a class at noon, but if someone had mentioned it, then, yes, I would have told them that I can't work at noon."
N: "But... remember..."
I am convinced you don't know what that word means. You actually need to experience something to recall it. "Remember" isn't something you say to inform me that you messed up and forgot to tell me back when you were scheduling this.

I could hear the exact moment that Ruby heard Narky's version of this conversation. I could hear her little hissy fit all the way back in the Teacher's Lounge. It was unreal. In between yelling things like "We are professional!" at the top of her lungs and stamping her feet and crying and shrieking in rapid Korean, she was throwing things all around the counter and her office. It was all I could do not to go out there and call her mother. I wouldn't have been surprised to see her fling herself down on the floor, kicking and screaming while spinning in a circle and hitting the ground with balled fists.

How could I ever have been afraid of that? Professional? Just another word they obviously aren't using correctly...

I was waiting for her to come back there and confront me. Having waited 4 weeks for her to return my things and having worked 10 hour days since I got back from vacation, I was actually excited about the confrontation. I'd like to see what happens to this school without me. It's not like I think I'm the best or anything, but I actually had students still hanging around for this. I would love to hear the version they explain to their parents about why Erin Teacher is no longer a New School employee.

It never came to that. I was amazed to find out that the screaming wasn't even about me. Oh man, Erin's lost her marbles...

No, I haven't. It's true. My roommate caused this little snafu. Actually, if we're being perfectly honest, Ruby did it to herself. Or Narky did it.

Anyways, Narky interrupted Britt's class to tell her that she was going to be teaching this class at noon.

B: " Sorry, I can't. I have a Skype date with my parents so I can't come in."

Then the screaming really took off.

Narky came back a few minutes later.
N: "I really think that you should come in tomorrow at noon."
B: "Narky I can't..."
He looks back over his shoulder.

N: "I REALLY think that you should come in tomorrow."
B: "Fine. I'll do what I can. In the future, you should know that it is very difficult to schedule times to speak with my parents. They work in a gold mine. Their schedules are completely different from each other's and mine, so it is almost impossible to speak to them both at the same time. I would like more warning than 15 hours next time. I'm happy to help when I can, but I need to know in advance."

She's still in the naive phase. The place where you believe that anything you say will have a lasting impression on them. She'll get over it. We all did. They'll do it again. "No," is really the only thing that makes any lasting impression.

Did I realize that someone would be teaching this class in my place? Of course. Did I know that my roommate would be the next name on the list? I expected it, but I forgot a couple key pieces of information. My roommate doesn't have her passport and can't say no. Even with a legitimate excuse (and certainly one that trumped my ambiguous "things" remark) she still had little choice but to bend to Ruby's will and come in 2 hours early for work.

I guess I feel bad about it. But the chick only has 1 class on wednesdays. She should be the first person they approach with crazy class time requests. I'm not going back to the days when I had to both open and close the school.

I should be worried about my job, I guess. But, hey, they just fired someone. They can't really afford to toss another teacher out on their butt.

Can it really be called tossing? I think I'd be walking out willingly.

Oh man, can you imagine? An 11 hour work day. This woman MUST be off her rocker.

I do prefer the Lounge after all the other teachers have gone though. I love how Narky comes in like he's the god of air cons everywhere and turns it off before he leaves. It's not like that has any effect. Just means I have to walk back over and turn it back on the second he rounds the corner.

How foolish. As if you have any control over the air conditioner after you leave. If you stuck around til crazy late, you could have some, but since you peace out first, you get no say.

I get this strange satisfaction from turning the air conditioner back on. Am I just trying to start things?

Maybe.

Hi, California.

Congratulations, you found the blog. I bet you're feeling pretty pleased with yourself, huh?

I'm putting an end to that smuggery right now. You never would've found it if Jenn and I hadn't dropped so many hints. Knowing the city and the aliases really gave you an edge.

So I guess what I'm saying is that you need to wipe that smug look off your face, you're not that smart.

And your hair is silly.

It's Amazing How Two Kids Can Change the Course of Your Whole Week.

I had such a terrible start to this month that I had just resolved myself to the fact that nothing I could do would make this week great. I was just going to have to grin and bear it. Or quit. The choices seemed so limited, but I couldn't see a way around it.


J: "Erin Teacher. It's a good thing we're in the February classroom. We're glad you're still our teacher. That January classroom is cursed. First Jennifer Teacher was gone and now Tooly Teacher. We have the best classroom."
K: "And the best teacher! Even when you make us write all of our homework over again."
J: "Or make us do 60 questions and a vocab list."
K: "And take points off because of missing articles."
J: "And even when we're answering a question and we think we have the right answer and then you say 'Annnd...' and make us say more."
K: "Yeah, 'Make it a better sentence!'"
J: "Articles!"
K: "Stop looking at your poster!"
J: "Eye contact!"

My Steeler Kids are definitely some of my favorites. Maybe they don't always have their homework and maybe they sometimes cry in class, but they bring me triangle kimbap when Ruby takes away my dinner and they participate with such enthusiasm that it's impossible to not have a good time in class.

The week is looking up. I was even able to face Sunflower Class with a smile on my face.

I should really be more excited about that class. It's my first time teaching 8 kids at once. Isn't that what I've been asking about? Bout time I got a real class.

I Had a 4 Minute Conversation. In Korean.

It was pretty awesome. After showing Britt around the buses, downtown, and Shinsegae, we hopped a cab and began our journey back home. I was able to hold a conversation with the cab driver explaining my job, where I'm from, how long I've been here, how much Korean I speak, what kind of school I teach at, and where the cat is (under the table). My roommate was impressed, the cab driver thought it was awesome and I was right there with them. I can't believe I was able to do it. Go me!

It was already a pretty good day buying clothes, music, books and getting free posters of SS501 and 2PM for my living room. Then we hopped in the cab and the day just got better. I'm in shock. Maybe I really can do it. Maybe learning Korean before I leave is do-able.

I haven't even been trying that hard.

I'm gonna start back up in the morning. I have to make sure I stay ahead of Britt. Can't let some beginner cut in front of me.

"Having a Roommate Makes It So Easy to Sleep In."

It's true. Now if I get up at 1pm and Britt still isn't up, it's okay to go back to bed. I didn't get up until 2:30. I haven't had a weekend of leisure in 5 weeks. I was overdue for some sleeping in.

Shadow came down about an hour later to see if we wanted to hit up a movie. Sure. Why not? First order of business was food. Off to TGIFridays and then over to the CGV for some movie. Salt was worse than Inception. I don't think I've seen a really good movie since I've been in Korea. Clash of the Titans, Book of Eli, Inception, Salt... Nope. No good ones.

I probably could've stayed in and enjoyed having my place all to myself again, but I knew Ruby planned to come over again.

She e-mailed my roommate.

"I wanted to talk to you after class today, but you left so early. By the time I went to talk to you, you had already left. Your student's mother wants to know if you can teach her son on Saturday. She waited in my office for your answer for an hour and was extremely disappointed to hear that you had left early. Please get back to me as soon as you get this so that we can schedule your class for tomorrow."

Yeah. It's Britt's fault for leaving at the end of her workday and sneaking past Ruby's office without signaling her exit. I coulda given her mother an answer. No. The answer is no. Our contract covers us for 5 days a week. We don't have health insurance or a microwave, what flippin made that woman think this would work?

It's certainly not Ruby's fault for waiting more than hour to go find my roomie to ask her this simple question. Nor is it her fault that she neglected to inform the mother that our school is only open Monday-Friday. Just cause ivleague works weekends does not mean you can try to guilt another teacher into giving up their only time away from you.

In fact, good luck EVER finding someone to agree to that.

Kids Can Totally Smell Emotion.

My kids could tell I was having a bad day. Two of them cried in class and 2 other ones kept asking, "Erin Teacher you look unhappy. You are sad?"

I'm so stressed and pressed for time that I don't have time to reread questions I make. I was late starting 3 of my classes today, because I had to post questions before class started.

Why? Oh this is a good one. I assigned two of my classes a review for the books that they have just finished. Most teachers post different questions for review and when I have time I do, too. When I'm pressed for time, I assign the same questions and emphasize the importance of correcting the problem areas in the homework. It's effective so far.

Except none of my students could find the questions. That's weird. Didn't they already do these questions? Yes. But someone deleted them. Who? Who else. Tooly always posted a master copy of his questions and then posted homework separately piece by piece. The master copy was gone and so were the first 2 chapters of the homework. They were there on Tuesday, but on Wednesday when I assigned the homework, they had mysteriously become M.I.A.

"Oh Erin, you have to write questions for every chapter. Tooly wasn't good about posting questions."

Shenanigans. The kids have already done these chapters. Someone deleted them and I will not allow you to blame this on me. I came right out and told her that this is impossible. I'm getting by on Tooly's questions right now and I'm still leaving at 11. I can't physically stick to this pace. I have not posted vocab for any of my classes. And I won't either. I'm stopping that nonsense. When she realizes, she'll ask why and I'll ask her for one less class. That hour could be when I prepare vocab for the rest of my classes. I refuse to go back to midnight shifts. REFUSE.

I was grumpy. I had to miss dinner to write questions for Sunflower class, because that monster deleted them. My kids went out during their break and bought me a triangle kimbap. It was pork, but I still ate it. I get what you mean, Aunt Ginny. Even when you don't want to, sometimes it's better just to go for it. We bonded over a tiny triangle kimbap. I love my kids. They get me, too.

Those Steeler boys still take their cue from me. Ruby might tell them something, but they will always ask me what they should do. That woman holds no power over them. She tells them one thing and they agree, then they come to me and ask to make a deal. They want to do this instead. Is that cool?

They like thinking they have some control over their education. And I like how it makes them more inclined to do their work. It's not a Ruby approved system, but it works for me. That's gonna have to be good enough.

She stopped me on the way out the door and asked where my roommate was. She left over an hour ago. "What?! Where did she go?! I had to talk to her!"
E: "Oh darn."

I'd be sympathetic except for the fact that Roomie had left over an hour ago and if she had really wanted to talk to her, she would've stopped gossiping with the mothers and got up to be the boss. Not our fault. Roomie's work day starts at 1pm, so she can leave by nine. It was closer to 11 when Ruby realized what had happened.

Then she said that she was going to stop by the apartment.

"Does she have plans this weekend?"
"Yes."
"What are they?"
"I don't know. But she definitely has plans."

What I wanted to say was, "None of your flippin beeswax. She's off the clock until Monday. What she does for the next 61 hours is none of your business."

I settled for putting on my shoes and walking out.

Then I ran down the street to beat them to the apartment. "Turn the lights off!! She's coming over. Get ready, we're going out!"

The kids came down to see if we wanted to hit up karaoke.
T: "They're not even here!"

So we know the no light thing is effective. They heard why and Tooly backed out and ran. "Meet you upstairs."

He doesn't even have a job anymore and the sound of her name still sends him running.

"We're Like Stars in the Sky."

Shadow's right. We were talking about which classes we were going to try to get rid of and which ones we were going to try to hold on to and he says, "This is ridiculous. We're talking about the past right now. They have ideas in their heads that are weeks ahead of us. They don't give us the most up-to-date information about what they plan. We're looking at old light."

We are like stars in the sky. A dime a dozen. There are so many of us, that it doesn't really matter how they treat us. It's times like these that I wonder why I want to stay so badly.

She took Roomie's key while we were in class. She had to run past my classroom to go ask Roomie for her key. "Roomie give me you key!"
Ro: "Huh?"
Ru: "I need your key right now! Right now!!"
Ro: "Um. Okay, why?"
Ru: "Right NOW! Grunter is waiting downstairs with your bed and they NEED to have your key!!!"

I understand why she did it. Both of them. Ruby wanted to get into the apartment and she knew that I wouldn't give her the key. So she went and used the urgency tactic on my roommate. If you keep speaking quickly and make something seem like an emergency, people will hand things over without thinking about it too much. As soon as I got out of class, my roommate told me what happened. I was on my way to Ruby's office before she finished telling me the whole story.

E: "Ruby? Roomie told me that you took her key." She had the nerve to look smug.
R: "Yes. Grunter has the beds to move around and she needed the key."
E: "I wanted to let you know that I am uncomfortable having people in the apartment when I am not there."
R: "Huh?!" At least she put the smuggery away.
E: "Yes. UNCOMFORTABLE. I have a lot of things in my home that are precious to me and I cannot relax when I don't know what is happening in my home."
R: "What? Precious things?"
E: "Yes. Precious and expensive. I cannot pack all of my personal items into a suitcase and bring them to work everyday, so I leave them in my home believing that they will be there when I return. I cannot risk these things being taken. I would prefer to have you tell me when you need to be in the apartment and I will try to accommodate you. If things need to be brought over, I would like it to be before or after work."
R: "Oh, you don't need to worry, they wouldn't take anything."

.... Is this woman serious? Cause the last time they were in there, they touched, moved and STOLE several items. 'Wouldn't take anything?' That's it. I'm finding a new school. This is bullsh*t. I don't even care about severance pay. I hope their school goes under.

Yes. That was the part in the conversation where I asked about the clothes that have been taken. Were they also in Grunter's car? No, she says. And then she begins to tell me about Narky's wrecking the car and how they don't have a car to bring these things over.

R: "Narky totaled his car. Did you know?!"
E: "Yes. You told me on Tuesday."
R: "Oh yes. So we don't have a way to bring them over right now."

She sounds a little more annoyed everytime I bring this up and it takes all I have not to say, "Sorry, is this a bother? Do you dislike hearing me ask you to return things? Am I making unreasonable requests? Cause, you know, I left them in my home. YOU took them. I don't feel that I inconvenienced you at all. You effed up. Now fix it."

This stress is getting to me. I feel like vacation was months ago and it was really less than two weeks. Time has slowed down. If it gets any slower, I'm doing the Fukoaka run. I don't care about starting over. I'll pick a real school this time.

Oh! And it gets better. They locked me into the school tonight.

They all came in and said goodnight, waved and did their little "so long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, adieu" routine and left me there. That's cool, even though I don't have an alarm key anymore, I still have the code to lock the door. At 11:30 I walked out to the door. It was locked. That's kind of weird. Why would they do that?

I open the door and the alarm goes off. There I am, standing in a completely empty building in front of a door looking for all the world like some waygook criminal. That's cute. Security is going to show up and I'll just have to explain that I work there.

...in English. Which they may or may not understand. While thinking about whether it would look more guilty to run or stick around the alarm stopped shrieking and I reflexively reached out and locked the door. I managed to walk calmly down the hallway and then ran down the stairs.

I almost died tripping over my flipfops, but I never stopped to consider taking them off. No time. I have some words for that woman. And not a single one of them is positive.

This morning's movie fun seems so long ago. California suggested Inception and since I was having the week from hell, I thought it might be good for me. Even though the movie started at 8am. It was definitely the highlight of my day. Cause the rest of the day blew.

There Has to Be a Word For This Fake Firing Nonsense.

That puts Tooly up at 2 to tie California, with Roomie trailing with one. She may have set the record for least amount of time wasted, but her numbers aren't good, yet. They opened with a heart crushing "You need to find a new school" and closed with an ambiguous "Okay, we think you need to improve these areas." I'm blown away at his incompetence when it comes to asking the "Am I still employed?" question.

"I don't want things to end sour here."

That's a shame, cause there's no other way for them to end. Look who you work for. This won't end well. I've witnessed one of these before. There's gonna be some shoving and yelling and the word "liar" is gonna be thrown around, too. Prepare yourself. It's gonna get ugly.

Just remember that none of this matters in the real world.



Oh yeah. And Narky got caught drunk driving.

He totaled his car on the way back from dinner and drinks at my apartment this weekend. I wondered how he got home. There were 2 empty soju bottles, 2 wine bottles, and an opened bottle of whiskey in my apartment when I got back yesterday.

So the cat's out of the bag. Ruby knows about their little dinner party this past weekend.

I would be surprised if my roommate completed her contract.

He's fine. No worries. His car is another story. I wonder what he hit...

Consequently, he doesn't remember most of Saturday night. I don't know if it's the car accident or the alcohol, but that's gonna make for one hella awkward conversation when he meets up with my roomie again.

These Canadian chicks and their drama. Man. Renee wasn't like this...

I Touched Kamenashi Kazuya!!

I really had no idea what I was doing. Pretty much from Step 1: Find Tickets. I knew I wanted to see KAT-TUN in concert the second I heard they were touring Asia. Okay. Maybe it was a few minutes later. But it was definitely the second I remembered that Korea is in Asia.

After a half hour of research I found that they were playing Seoul on August 6 and 7. The sixth was out. The concert was supposed to start before I even get out of class. But the 7th I can do. This led to my 3 hour effort to buy my ticket which forced me to beg Christina to help me navigate the English version of G-Market (a Korean e-shopping site) which was the only place to buy KAT-TUN tickets.

The site required Windows, so thank you Cali. It wouldn't accept my Korean check card, but eventually registered my Visa. It really is everywhere you wanna be. Mission 2: Buy Ticket. Check.

The end result of this transaction was an e-voucher. What does that mean? "You have a ticket. It's good. Yeah it worked," says Christina. Great. Oh that's right, I don't have a printer. Christina to the rescue yet again. She and MJ met me at the bus station last night to hand over the printed e-voucher that was supposed to get me in.

"So this will work? I can see KAT-TUN in concert?"
"Mm. Yes. Probably."

Probably? No way to know until I try right? Right.

I had already booked a place for myself at the hostel (by myself) and all I had to do was find a cab to get me there at 4am. I was set. The cab driver didn't really know where he was going and it was a torrential downpour, but, amazingly, I recognized where we were going and was able to help for the last 5 minutes of the journey. (I know, Mom. How did I manage that when I can't even find my way home from West Chester? When was the last time KAT-TUN played in McMurray?)

Mission 3: Get to Seoul. Accomplished.

The next morning I had to figure out where this concert would be and make sure that I was on the right #5 metro. It's one of these cooky splitting lines and it was due to split right near the end of my trip.

Luck was on my side and I ended up being on the right one. I followed what I assumed were a half dozen other KAT-TUN fans and started walking around Olympic Park. I got distracted by this giant muscled Korean man and must have stopped to stare for a considerable amount of time, because I lost the girls I was trailing. Not my fault. This short man looked like he could bend a car in half. It was crazy weird. It was like someone pushed down on Arnold's head and made this shorter wider Korean version of the terminator.

Not gonna panic. I'll just follow more girls. I noticed that everyone had these hand fans with the boys' faces on them. They must have found the entrance and were just killing time. This is where it gets tricky. People were walking towards me with concert paraphernalia and I thought it meant I had to turn around. Except I saw the same thing when I turned around. Which direction did they get this stuff? Am I following a bunch of girls coming from the hall and just walking around to kill time? Am I walking with the ones who are done killing time? I rock paper scissored myself and chose to turn right at the monster body builder. I rounded the corner and saw the stand where everyone was buying these hand fans. I chose Kame and Koki. Then I walked over to stand in the line.

It looked like 2 lines were forming, one considerably shorter than the other. I thought those people were probably special, so I went ahead and stayed in the long line. I've gotten really good at standing in the wrong line, so I tried to listen for any instructions that were being announced. None in English, of course. Everyone in my line had a ticket and I was standing there- for the first time in 7 months, the only foreigner in sight- with my e-voucher. This was the first time since I escaped the airport that first day we arrived that I have been able to look around and see absolutely no foreigners. Unlucky. The girl behind me in line was trying to help, but she obviously wasn't that big into studying those mandatory English classes that the public schools have.

I pointed to the short line. "Moh ya?" (What's that?)
"Stand." Okay. So these people have to stand. Not me. I definitely bought a seat ticket.
Then I pointed to our line. "Maybe floor and stand." ... What? Oh. Stands. Those must be the seated tickets in the upper levels. I'm in one of those tiers... I think...

Maybe it's time to find an official. So I walked up to a security man shouting instructions into a megaphone. He didn't speak any English, but he was nice enough to find another security girl to help. She also didn't speak any English, but now it was her turn to call over another guard to help. This second chick shouted back "Happy Box!" Okay. So she doesn't speak English either. But instead of sharing in my Blank Stare, the other two seemed relieved. Oh they don't understand...

Nope. This time it was me. They pointed over my shoulder and what should I see when I turn around? A ticket window called, you guessed it, Happy Box. Mission 4: Find Concert , was easy compared to the task ahead of me. Now's the moment of truth. What is this e-voucher really worth? I handed them my e-voucher.


And received a ticket!!! I was all set to see KAT-TUN in concert!!!

Back into the line. We were handed silver bags to place all of our electronics in and stood there for a little while longer. They're really serious about this no camera rule. So no pictures, no matter how close I get. And Still not a foreigner in sight.

Then these chicks started walking by and handing out free stuff- small hand fans with all the boys on them, and stickers. Then this concert official walked by with goody bags. She would stop every ten people or so to explain the instructions regarding the glow stick and paper airplane inside. I happened to be person #10. She was halfway through the first sentence when she noticed my blank stare. I could read her thoughts on her face. Crap! Waygookin!!

So it was another series of 3 Koreans trying to help the waygookin. Crazy enough, the Third Korean from before, the "Happy Box!" chick was the third girl this time, too, and she shouts "Yeong Euh!" (English) and points to the paper. No worries. English instructions.

I get inside and stare around. Somehow I thought the adventure would end once I got inside, but it doesn't. It's not any better inside. Where am I supposed to go? Which of these numbers is the seat and which is the section? I got to pick my seat online, but all I knew was that I was in the front row of the top tier. So I headed to the closest security girl to figure it out.

Wouldn't you know it, it was the Third Korean! She must have realized that there was no way I was going to be able to help myself for any of this, so she walked me all the way to my seat and didn't leave until I was actually sitting down. What would I have done without her?

So I'm in Section 38, Row 1, Seat 14. Kinda far from the stage in relation to the rest of the audience, but I'm mostly center and the place really isn't all that big to begin with. So even from the top tier I can still tell what's happening on the main stage.

The show begins and they're not even on the main stage, they're on this moving stage thing that gets pretty close. I was about 10 feet away from the boys singing songs that I actually knew the words to and it was awesome!! What could be better than this??

Well. About halfway through, the boys disappear and the other band, KisMyFt2 comes out to dance around. Meh. Not a big KMF2 fan, but all of a sudden the girls on both ends start screaming. Wow. Someone really loves KMF2...

No. They were screaming at KAT-TUN. The boys were on rolling platforms coming down the aisle that runs right in front of my seat. I'm the front row! I'm going to be less than 2 feet from KAT-TUN!

Koki and Junnosuke were coming towards me from the left while Nakamaru, Ueda and Kame were on the other side of the hall. They were slapping hands and shaking hands and alternating between the front row on the third floor and the last row of the second floor.

I missed Junnosuke because he switched sides just before our section. No biggie. I don't even like Junnosuke. Then the girls on the other side grabbed hold of Koki's sleeve and he missed us while he was trying to free his arm from the grip of rabid fans. That's what you get for wearing long sleeves at a concert dumdum. (By the end of this his left sleeve would be more than a foot longer than the right. It had a few holes in it, too. Guess he won't be finishing the tour with that shirt.)

I couldn't believe it! So close and yet I missed them. I was less than 2 feet from KAT-TUN and I missed my opportunity. The boys met the other three in the middle of the aisle and -to my amazement- switched platforms. The other three were headed my way!

I missed Ueda because he lifted his hand to shake off the girl two people down and missed me and both girls on my sides. Nakamaru lifted his hand right in front of me and started waving to the crowd! Put your hand down dumdum! No one wants to wave to you!

There's only one left. Kame's the real deal. The only one who matters. I go through phases with the other 4 ( Wait. Not Junnosuke) but Kame is always my favorite. Please Please let him be on my side.

He's headed straight for me, he lifts his hand... and misses the girl to my right. I couldn't believe what sh*t luck. But I kept my hand in the air.

He delivered one monster high five. I couldn't believe it when I looked up and saw him wink. I touched Kame!! Unreal! Un. Real.

And yes, ladies. His hands were perfect. Everything else was awesome, too, the fireworks, the acrobatics, the double encore, the glowsticks, the flying airplanes bidding farewell to KAT-TUN. But this took the cake. I had one of the luckiest seats in the house. I'm picking section 38, row 1, seat 14 for every concert. And there will be more. This time, I might even bring someone else with me. Prob Christina. I couldn't understand it when KAT-TUN started butchering the Korean they had tried to learn before the show.

And still no waygook in sight. A perfect evening. Hands down. Totally awesome.

The luck continued and I managed to catch the last metro home and didn't have to fork over 20,000w for a cab.

I ended the day with all kinds of souvenirs, CDs, stickers and a big a** poster. And I did it almost all by myself. Well... without the help of English anyways.

I'm totally going to do another concert. I wonder when Arashi does Asia next...

'Cause Korea's in Asia. And I've got this concert thing figured out. Front Row, Top Tier, Middle. That's the way.

Part Two.

No. I did not quit my job. The conversation was actually quite comical.

"Umm, Ruby? Some stuff was missing from my apartment when I got back..."
"Did Roomie take it?!"

...No. Where would she take it...? She lives here. It's definitely not in her room. That's the problem. That's where I left it.

"Maybe they were recycled."

"... Can we check?"

Yes. Some of them were recycled. I have been told that the rest will be returned to me, but that'll have to wait til monday. I'm heading to Seoul tonight to put as much distance between me and these people as I can.

"Oh we should have waited for you to get back, before we moved her in."

"Yeah. You really should have."

Yes, Mom. I said it. It wasn't an 'I was like~.' That right there is a direct quote. ivleague talks to them however he wants and they've never stolen from them.

They're so ridiculous.

Part One.

Alright. Normally I'm opposed to having two entries on the same day (how much can possibly happen in one day? Why leave the audience hanging?), but today might be my last day at New School. I'm going in to work today to confront my boss about the abduction of my clothes and personal effects and about their nonchalant invasion of my privacy.

I'm also going to pose some questions about the legality of my continued employment. I do not hold a visa for a school for which I work, nor do I have a residency card for a home where I live. I'm done with this.

They say that these legal infractions can lead to detainment or deportation.

Neither of those sound appealing. If I quit, I'll be blacklisting this school. I can still save others.

One Day and this Chick Is Already Setting Records.

Being fake-fired on your first day is quite a feat. No other teacher can claim such a thing. She's putting California to shame. She'd be beating Miss Honey too, except Miss Honey was REAL fired.

Looks like we have a new Tooly. New people usually get dumped on. I've now witnessed two real firings and four fake firings. I hope I never lose count. Being fired doesn't really mean anything here.

Ruby hasn't actually fake fired anyone. She has had Grunter do it twice for Cali and once for Roomie and she had Mr. Kim do it to Tooly. I bet that's another one of her mind games. Let other people do the firing so that she can come in and save the day. Make everyone think that she is trying to look out for them.

Now that I think about it, she hasn't real fired anyone either. That was Grunter. She's a monster.

I know it sucks for my new roomie, but I think this is funny as hell. Who gets fired and re-hired before they've even taught one class? That's what you get for working on the weekend. Don't do it. It'll only bite you in the end.

So I took her to Dasarong to celebrate her first fake firing. I felt bad. It's going to happen at least one more time before they get used to her. And, hell, it'll prob happen again after that. Look at Cali.

She's alright. Prob not a spy, but I doubt she'll make it to the end of her contract. But, hey, I'd be surprised if any of us did.

She likes the Asian boys, too. Maybe this roommate thing will be alright.

She'll prob be fired real soon anyways.

Ummm... Whose Shoes Are Those?

1pm

There is someone in my apartment. After traveling for more than 24 hours, all I wanted to do was head home, shower, unpack and sleep. But that didn't work out.

I hid the key in the apartment among my things and yet there is still someone else living here. I guess Ruby and Grunter had the landlord let them in while they pawed through my stuff to find the key and then handed that over to new girl so that she could move into my home and touch everything.

And then they stole my microwave!! "Oh Erin doesn't use this, so we're going to take it."

In fact, Erin does.

It's official. I'm going to be choosing another school for my next year in Korea. I can't live in a place where there's no security or privacy. I want a door code. I want to be able to lock them out when I'm not here. I want a boss that doesn't touch my things.

AND THEY GAVE HER A WELCOMING GIFT! They wouldn't even feed us and they gave her a bottle of red wine. That she is keeping in the fridge! You don't chill those! Her stuff is in all of the wrong places. Her cosmetics are on the toilet paper shelf and her food is on every shelf. What am I going to do?!

Throw her under the bus!!!

No. I need to be rational about this. I need to remember that she is coming off jet-lag and is new to this country. She doesn't know how I do things. I need to learn to adjust to living with someone else again. I need to understand that I won't always have my own way. I need to realize that changing my routine is uncomfortable but necessary.

What I need is a nap.

And my microwave back. I'm going to fix that tomorrow.

--------
6pm
This isn't even a post that I can finish mid day. It's driving me crazy. Not her, exactly, but not getting to have the apartment to myself for one last day. I can't stand this sharing. I am never going to be alone again. No more singing and dancing as I make dinner. No more talking to myself. No more playing whatever music I want whenever I want it. No more sleep uninterrupted. No more storing things in the kitchen closet. No more space in the fridge or pantry. No more pig free home. No more privacy.

It's terrible to think this already, and it's probably the fact that I haven't slept yet, but I want her to get fired. Now. I don't want her crowding my living room. I don't care that her room is small. Narky helped her "clean" the apartment. They swept and mopped. And rearranged the living room. I put it back. I cleaned before I left. It was sparkling.

If they were gonna clean, they should've started with the laundry room. It's a nightmare.

I don't want to share. I don't want to talk. I don't like that Kids' Team are nicer to her. I don't like that no one has yelled at her yet. What if they never do? What if she never gets fired? What if this is my life for the next 5 months? What if I never have this apartment to myself again?

What if she's a spy?

-------
6:30pm
And my Mac charger just blew out. I'm working on my last two hours of battery power. August is gonna suck. I can tell.