Things I'm Going to Miss 3: The Food.

Yes, this one may sound a little surprising. Thanks to Korean food, I have dropped a few jean sizes in the past year. I can't eat a single thing without hearing "so good for to be healthy."

More than that, though, is that there are very few things I care to eat that much of. I never have a problem with portion control, because most of the inexpensive foods I eat daily are things that my stomach just refuses to overeat. It will take just enough to keep us alive and no more.

Some of the food is absolutely delicious, though, and that is the stuff I will truly miss. Bibimbap, kimbap, sangapsal, duck shabu shabu, samgak kimbap, rice blobs... Yeah. There are definitely some food items to which I have become accustomed. I'll miss ordering a cheeja peeja and having it arrive with corn.

Though I will enjoy real tacos while home.

Things I'm Going to Miss 2: Not Having to Listen to Dumb People.

Not understanding the people around you certainly can be an advantage. I never feel tempted to eavesdrop on a stupid conversation about something I'm not even remotely interested in just because whatever I'm thinking about isn't gripping enough to keep me inside my own head.

I'm sure while I'm in the States, I'll get sucked into at least a few conversations I would rather ignore with feigned ignorance (in Korea it's not even feigned) but will be unable to escape. When you don't understand a single word, you can walk around and never be annoyed by people talking. In the States, I find myself judging others by the quality of the conversation I can overhear.

I also never really have to worry about anyone listening into mine. I am free to speak stupid about whatever I want and as long as I say it fast, I know no one can really fully grasp everything I'm saying. Even native English speakers sometimes can't catch it when we speak too fast.

Just thinking about losing my protective communication barrier makes me never want to engage in another exchange in front of a third party ever again. Oh insensibility, I will miss you while I'm gone.

Things I'm Going to Miss 1: Free Stuff.

Now that my time is coming to a close, I wanted to start thinking about my time in Korea during the last 11.5 months. There are a lot of things I really like and a lot of things I think I'm really going to miss.

First order of business: Service.

No moderate sized shopping trip in Korea would be complete without a few freebies. Anytime a sales associate or clerk hands you something you didn't pick out yourself and says/mumbles/shouts the word "Service" it means you are getting something free to go with what you have just paid for.

Sometimes it makes sense. Sometimes you buy 5 pairs of socks and get 1 free. Sometimes you buy a box of cereal and get a bowl or a bag of onions and get a free pack of gum.

Sometimes it doesn't make sense. Sometimes you'll buy a couple of beers and get a dried squid. Sometimes you buy a couple of triangle kimbaps and get a free lighter, or a pen. Buying a pack of candy could mean a free sample of another kind of candy or it could mean you get a face mask. Actually. The face mask thing is fairly common.

I don't know if the locals get as much service as we foreigners, but I do know they don't treat us like this in the States. While I'm home, I'll definitely be thinking about all the possible service opportunities I'm missing out on.

Some Things Are Probably Universal.

I wonder if they sit in Ruby's office talking about how messed up we foreign teachers are. I wonder if they sit in there talking about how unreasonable and crazy we waygook act. I wonder if they stress about talking to us the way we dread talking to them. I wonder if they sit in the front speaking rapid Korean wondering how best to deal with us or trying to figure out what is going on in our crazy cake mixed up brains.

S: "Oh, I'm sure of it. I'm sure they sit in there and think about exactly the same things we do. They sit and try to figure out what our next move is going to be, probably trying to determine how we're going to try and mess up their plans. Their saying the same things, the only different is that all of their thoughts end in 'hamnida'."

Are we the weird, uncooperative, irrational ones in their drama? If an audience was watching this- with subtitles, of course- which side would be the antagonists? Is it us? Are we the crazy cakes?

It's easy to be the good guys. No one truly envisions themselves as the bad guys. I'm convinced all bad guys are just misunderstood good guys.

Or sociopaths. Actually, I bet a fair amount of bad guys are sociopaths.

"Erin Teacher, Can I Have Your Eyelids?"

My kids are always surprising me with the strangest compliments. If they aren't commenting on my white skin or big eyes then they can't stop talking about my high nose or "crazy" curly hair. This eyelid thing is new, though.

"Erin Teacher, your eyelids are so beautiful." I spent a little time today discussing western compliments with my Red Teddy Bears. I tried to explain that in the States we don't tell someone their head is so small or their nose is so big and we don't really give a second thought to eyelids. We tell them they have nice hair, or a beautiful smile; we mention they are looking especially slender that day or compliment them on their wardrobe choice. We certainly would never tell someone we like their head shape because "it is just like a turkey's egg." That's one of Shadow's. My kids have never remarked on my head shape. I can only conclude mine is an undesirable shape.

To All My Foreign Families.

After our mountain fun yesterday, we headed out to begin saying our goodbyes to California. To the surprise of everyone- himself included- he actually made it to the end of his contract. Sure he had to endure being fired twice and all that movie nonsense of the beginning, but what does any of that matter. He's got two work days left and then he's done. For real this time.

I feel like I've begun so many goodbye parties with California, that this one wasn't so bad. Each time he was fired, we would hang out and I'd sit there thinking that this might be the last time I get to see or karaoke with one of the members of my foreign family. He's the first foreigner Jenn and I met after arriving in Korea. He helped walk us through it all way back when we were dumb and thought we understood what we had gotten ourselves into. He's the only person still here who even remembers what I was like 11 months ago. He's the only one who knew the old me. I'm about to become the most experienced teacher Ruby has. I thought this goodbye would be really difficult for me, but it actually wasn't too bad.

I'm just happy for the guy. I feel like we all won a little victory here. One of us made it to the end. Go team.

I guess I've become better at saying goodbye to my foreign families. I've been abroad before, I know how it works. You don't just say goodbye to people and they disappear forever. I've got friends from all of my foreign excursions that I still meet up with at least once a year. Not all of them, but the ones who matter at least.

Foreign families are a necessary part of life abroad. They're the people who stand by when all the unbelievable nonsense happens. They're the ones who are there lecturing you about the ill effects of making eye contact with street vendors while staring at a lit up Eiffel Tower. They're the ones who walk into a tattoo parlor called ZZTop so you can get a tattoo on the Cypriot boardwalk in Ayia Napa and laugh while you try - unsuccessfully- to explain what exactly led you to scream "Options!" while standing in the middle of the street instead of just picking a side. They're the ones who throw scorpions in your hair and save you from sketchy men on the Cayes of Belize. They're the ones who are standing next to you in a Korean "spa" looking just as uncomfortable and just as determined to get through it. They're the ones who head out on an adventure that you've admitted you're winging and still have the time of their life. They're the ones who stay up all night with you when you lose someone and you're too far away to attend a funeral.

They're what you have on the other side of the world. They may not necessarily be the people you would choose for companionship in the States in the life you've left behind, but they're the only family available and they step up. Foreign families are a fact of life abroad whether you accept them or not. We don't have so many options over here that we can pick them. Not like you get to pick your real families either (and you still love those).

They may not be forever- I couldn't prove they are- but they sure don't just dissolve at the end of the journey. We head out on different adventures for a while, yeah, but there are only so many people who remember the same things you do. They know about cheeja-peeja or game faces or monkey mats or seahorses.

You can talk to whoever you want when you get home about what happens to you overseas. You should. You have a lot of good stories to tell. But there are only so many people you can talk with; your foreign family helps you tell the tale.

Happy Veteran's Day, Granddad.

It's a holiday in Korea today, too: Peppero Day. The day when boys give snacks to the girls who gave them candy on Valentine's Day. Another holiday where we were "encouraged" to bring treats for our kids. Thank God I only have 6 kids on Thursdays.

I climbed the mini mountain, Mudeung, this morning to find some air, and got stuck in the 50 bus doors twice. You couldn't see me, busdriver man? Was I blending in too effectively? Then the zipper on my hoodie broke. Then my kids starting crying. What a day.

While on the mountain, MJ called. He had forgotten to get anything for his girlfriend and wanted to know if I could go out and get her something. Sure, whatever. Then he called back while I was on the bus to see if I could print out the card. Yeah I guess I can go find a printer. Then he called to ask if I could hang out with Christina today to cheer her up because her boyfriend couldn't be with her on the most important holiday. No. I can't possibly do that. I called California for help.

MJ called no less than 13 times today. He kept changing what he wanted me to do. He kept asking if I was with her yet. No I have a job, I'll see her tonight.

Dinner was on MJ tonight, so California and I took her someplace nice and then I headed out early. He seemed to have everything under control. He's better at comforting Christina when her boyfriend messes up, anyway. I guess I just don't care about that stuff.

L: "Erin Teacher, you have a Brittnie Face. Are you sad?"
E: "Yes. I'm very sad."
L: "Erin Teacher's Grandfather is lives the sky now. Our grandfathers are will be friends I think." Then the kids all started crying.