"Erin Teacher's Father Works at Night."

A few months back, my kids were asking about the names of all of the members in my family, so, of course, I shared the info. Imagine my surprise today at hearing them change the example in the book, "Officer Smith works at night." Later in the same text, they created "Erin Teacher's mother wants peanuts, but she doesn't want candy." It used to just be Anne.

Stickers all around.

It's things like this that I make sure to hold onto when everything else around me starts dripping with crazy. My roommate nearly had a panic attack today when she had two students arrive for class at the same time. Two private lesson students. What made it better was that all of the Korean teachers had headed out for dinner at the same time. Isn't that cute. Us foreign teachers aren't allowed to do that. So she went to find Shadow to see if he could take one of them.

And in walks Shadow's student. I could tell something was up by the time they walked by the window of my room. I had this weird moment of nostalgia watching the two of them outside my window frantically pantomiming God only knew what. Finally, they cracked open the window. "Can we borrow you for a moment?"

I showed them where to find the list of phone numbers at the front desk so that she could call Narky and ask him what to do. Since it was his fault to begin with and he's sweet on her, I thought it might end better than if they called Ruby.

My kids thought it was dumb, too. "Where are all the Korean teachers?"

E: "Don't know."
K1: "Who made the schedule for her?"
E: "Not a clue"
K2: "So what is she going to do?"
E: "That is an excellent question."

I Don't Think That Means What You Think It Does.

There are so many situations that really make me question the level of these Korean teachers. There are just too many times when a conversation seems to go so horribly wrong for no other reason than a single sentence was mistranslated. Other times, we are left sitting and waiting for promises to be fulfilled. Are they just really good pretenders? Maybe they don't really know that much at all.

Tooly was fired twice and promised a plane ticket home. He has been unemployed and loitering for the last 2 weeks and finally decided to come in and see what was up.

R: "Oh! You have students waiting for you at the other school."
T: "Ruby... I was fired two weeks ago..."
R: "Yes, but you are going to teach kindergarten at the other school? You need to have at least 4 students for us to pay you the same amount."
T: "I think I would really rather just get back home."
R: "You don't want to teach them? You are quitting?"
T: "...it's not quitting. Remember? I was fired...? I just came in to ask about when I can expect that plane ticket home that we talked about."
R: "Oh, we didn't realize that you wanted to go home. No... we can't buy you a ticket. They are very expensive."

That's not what "fire" means, lady. Granted, this is a different country, society and work environment, but firing generally involves the removal of an individual from their position in a company. It tends to mean the dismissal of said individual. That usually cuts off relations with that former employee. But it doesn't seem to mean that here.

I have long suspected that Narky doesn't really know anything, but I think he knows this. Maybe he's just playing the Dumb Korean card the way I play the Dumb Foreigner card. Sometimes he says things, fully expecting that I will have to agree instead of argue to get my way. He is the boss's brother. Is it really worth the effort?

When he comes in to inform me at 9:15 that I will be starting my wednesday at 12pm, yes. I think it's definitely worth a "no." If I didn't have to stay til 11pm every night, I might be more sympathetic. No way in H am I putting in an 11 hour work day without some kind of overtime.

N: "Erin, do you remember that you have class tomorrow at noon?"
E: "Remember? No. I definitely don't have class at noon."
N: "Oh. Remember? Your two girls cannot come at 2, so you are going to come at 12? I thought you knew?"

Can't possibly remember something that never made it that far down the grapevine. And, no, I can't make it.
N: "What? Can't...?"
E: "Can't make it, no. I have things that I do in the morning, so I can't make it."
N: "...Did you told somebody?"
E: "I didn't realize that I was teaching a class at noon, but if someone had mentioned it, then, yes, I would have told them that I can't work at noon."
N: "But... remember..."
I am convinced you don't know what that word means. You actually need to experience something to recall it. "Remember" isn't something you say to inform me that you messed up and forgot to tell me back when you were scheduling this.

I could hear the exact moment that Ruby heard Narky's version of this conversation. I could hear her little hissy fit all the way back in the Teacher's Lounge. It was unreal. In between yelling things like "We are professional!" at the top of her lungs and stamping her feet and crying and shrieking in rapid Korean, she was throwing things all around the counter and her office. It was all I could do not to go out there and call her mother. I wouldn't have been surprised to see her fling herself down on the floor, kicking and screaming while spinning in a circle and hitting the ground with balled fists.

How could I ever have been afraid of that? Professional? Just another word they obviously aren't using correctly...

I was waiting for her to come back there and confront me. Having waited 4 weeks for her to return my things and having worked 10 hour days since I got back from vacation, I was actually excited about the confrontation. I'd like to see what happens to this school without me. It's not like I think I'm the best or anything, but I actually had students still hanging around for this. I would love to hear the version they explain to their parents about why Erin Teacher is no longer a New School employee.

It never came to that. I was amazed to find out that the screaming wasn't even about me. Oh man, Erin's lost her marbles...

No, I haven't. It's true. My roommate caused this little snafu. Actually, if we're being perfectly honest, Ruby did it to herself. Or Narky did it.

Anyways, Narky interrupted Britt's class to tell her that she was going to be teaching this class at noon.

B: " Sorry, I can't. I have a Skype date with my parents so I can't come in."

Then the screaming really took off.

Narky came back a few minutes later.
N: "I really think that you should come in tomorrow at noon."
B: "Narky I can't..."
He looks back over his shoulder.

N: "I REALLY think that you should come in tomorrow."
B: "Fine. I'll do what I can. In the future, you should know that it is very difficult to schedule times to speak with my parents. They work in a gold mine. Their schedules are completely different from each other's and mine, so it is almost impossible to speak to them both at the same time. I would like more warning than 15 hours next time. I'm happy to help when I can, but I need to know in advance."

She's still in the naive phase. The place where you believe that anything you say will have a lasting impression on them. She'll get over it. We all did. They'll do it again. "No," is really the only thing that makes any lasting impression.

Did I realize that someone would be teaching this class in my place? Of course. Did I know that my roommate would be the next name on the list? I expected it, but I forgot a couple key pieces of information. My roommate doesn't have her passport and can't say no. Even with a legitimate excuse (and certainly one that trumped my ambiguous "things" remark) she still had little choice but to bend to Ruby's will and come in 2 hours early for work.

I guess I feel bad about it. But the chick only has 1 class on wednesdays. She should be the first person they approach with crazy class time requests. I'm not going back to the days when I had to both open and close the school.

I should be worried about my job, I guess. But, hey, they just fired someone. They can't really afford to toss another teacher out on their butt.

Can it really be called tossing? I think I'd be walking out willingly.

Oh man, can you imagine? An 11 hour work day. This woman MUST be off her rocker.

I do prefer the Lounge after all the other teachers have gone though. I love how Narky comes in like he's the god of air cons everywhere and turns it off before he leaves. It's not like that has any effect. Just means I have to walk back over and turn it back on the second he rounds the corner.

How foolish. As if you have any control over the air conditioner after you leave. If you stuck around til crazy late, you could have some, but since you peace out first, you get no say.

I get this strange satisfaction from turning the air conditioner back on. Am I just trying to start things?

Maybe.

Hi, California.

Congratulations, you found the blog. I bet you're feeling pretty pleased with yourself, huh?

I'm putting an end to that smuggery right now. You never would've found it if Jenn and I hadn't dropped so many hints. Knowing the city and the aliases really gave you an edge.

So I guess what I'm saying is that you need to wipe that smug look off your face, you're not that smart.

And your hair is silly.

It's Amazing How Two Kids Can Change the Course of Your Whole Week.

I had such a terrible start to this month that I had just resolved myself to the fact that nothing I could do would make this week great. I was just going to have to grin and bear it. Or quit. The choices seemed so limited, but I couldn't see a way around it.


J: "Erin Teacher. It's a good thing we're in the February classroom. We're glad you're still our teacher. That January classroom is cursed. First Jennifer Teacher was gone and now Tooly Teacher. We have the best classroom."
K: "And the best teacher! Even when you make us write all of our homework over again."
J: "Or make us do 60 questions and a vocab list."
K: "And take points off because of missing articles."
J: "And even when we're answering a question and we think we have the right answer and then you say 'Annnd...' and make us say more."
K: "Yeah, 'Make it a better sentence!'"
J: "Articles!"
K: "Stop looking at your poster!"
J: "Eye contact!"

My Steeler Kids are definitely some of my favorites. Maybe they don't always have their homework and maybe they sometimes cry in class, but they bring me triangle kimbap when Ruby takes away my dinner and they participate with such enthusiasm that it's impossible to not have a good time in class.

The week is looking up. I was even able to face Sunflower Class with a smile on my face.

I should really be more excited about that class. It's my first time teaching 8 kids at once. Isn't that what I've been asking about? Bout time I got a real class.

I Had a 4 Minute Conversation. In Korean.

It was pretty awesome. After showing Britt around the buses, downtown, and Shinsegae, we hopped a cab and began our journey back home. I was able to hold a conversation with the cab driver explaining my job, where I'm from, how long I've been here, how much Korean I speak, what kind of school I teach at, and where the cat is (under the table). My roommate was impressed, the cab driver thought it was awesome and I was right there with them. I can't believe I was able to do it. Go me!

It was already a pretty good day buying clothes, music, books and getting free posters of SS501 and 2PM for my living room. Then we hopped in the cab and the day just got better. I'm in shock. Maybe I really can do it. Maybe learning Korean before I leave is do-able.

I haven't even been trying that hard.

I'm gonna start back up in the morning. I have to make sure I stay ahead of Britt. Can't let some beginner cut in front of me.

"Having a Roommate Makes It So Easy to Sleep In."

It's true. Now if I get up at 1pm and Britt still isn't up, it's okay to go back to bed. I didn't get up until 2:30. I haven't had a weekend of leisure in 5 weeks. I was overdue for some sleeping in.

Shadow came down about an hour later to see if we wanted to hit up a movie. Sure. Why not? First order of business was food. Off to TGIFridays and then over to the CGV for some movie. Salt was worse than Inception. I don't think I've seen a really good movie since I've been in Korea. Clash of the Titans, Book of Eli, Inception, Salt... Nope. No good ones.

I probably could've stayed in and enjoyed having my place all to myself again, but I knew Ruby planned to come over again.

She e-mailed my roommate.

"I wanted to talk to you after class today, but you left so early. By the time I went to talk to you, you had already left. Your student's mother wants to know if you can teach her son on Saturday. She waited in my office for your answer for an hour and was extremely disappointed to hear that you had left early. Please get back to me as soon as you get this so that we can schedule your class for tomorrow."

Yeah. It's Britt's fault for leaving at the end of her workday and sneaking past Ruby's office without signaling her exit. I coulda given her mother an answer. No. The answer is no. Our contract covers us for 5 days a week. We don't have health insurance or a microwave, what flippin made that woman think this would work?

It's certainly not Ruby's fault for waiting more than hour to go find my roomie to ask her this simple question. Nor is it her fault that she neglected to inform the mother that our school is only open Monday-Friday. Just cause ivleague works weekends does not mean you can try to guilt another teacher into giving up their only time away from you.

In fact, good luck EVER finding someone to agree to that.

Kids Can Totally Smell Emotion.

My kids could tell I was having a bad day. Two of them cried in class and 2 other ones kept asking, "Erin Teacher you look unhappy. You are sad?"

I'm so stressed and pressed for time that I don't have time to reread questions I make. I was late starting 3 of my classes today, because I had to post questions before class started.

Why? Oh this is a good one. I assigned two of my classes a review for the books that they have just finished. Most teachers post different questions for review and when I have time I do, too. When I'm pressed for time, I assign the same questions and emphasize the importance of correcting the problem areas in the homework. It's effective so far.

Except none of my students could find the questions. That's weird. Didn't they already do these questions? Yes. But someone deleted them. Who? Who else. Tooly always posted a master copy of his questions and then posted homework separately piece by piece. The master copy was gone and so were the first 2 chapters of the homework. They were there on Tuesday, but on Wednesday when I assigned the homework, they had mysteriously become M.I.A.

"Oh Erin, you have to write questions for every chapter. Tooly wasn't good about posting questions."

Shenanigans. The kids have already done these chapters. Someone deleted them and I will not allow you to blame this on me. I came right out and told her that this is impossible. I'm getting by on Tooly's questions right now and I'm still leaving at 11. I can't physically stick to this pace. I have not posted vocab for any of my classes. And I won't either. I'm stopping that nonsense. When she realizes, she'll ask why and I'll ask her for one less class. That hour could be when I prepare vocab for the rest of my classes. I refuse to go back to midnight shifts. REFUSE.

I was grumpy. I had to miss dinner to write questions for Sunflower class, because that monster deleted them. My kids went out during their break and bought me a triangle kimbap. It was pork, but I still ate it. I get what you mean, Aunt Ginny. Even when you don't want to, sometimes it's better just to go for it. We bonded over a tiny triangle kimbap. I love my kids. They get me, too.

Those Steeler boys still take their cue from me. Ruby might tell them something, but they will always ask me what they should do. That woman holds no power over them. She tells them one thing and they agree, then they come to me and ask to make a deal. They want to do this instead. Is that cool?

They like thinking they have some control over their education. And I like how it makes them more inclined to do their work. It's not a Ruby approved system, but it works for me. That's gonna have to be good enough.

She stopped me on the way out the door and asked where my roommate was. She left over an hour ago. "What?! Where did she go?! I had to talk to her!"
E: "Oh darn."

I'd be sympathetic except for the fact that Roomie had left over an hour ago and if she had really wanted to talk to her, she would've stopped gossiping with the mothers and got up to be the boss. Not our fault. Roomie's work day starts at 1pm, so she can leave by nine. It was closer to 11 when Ruby realized what had happened.

Then she said that she was going to stop by the apartment.

"Does she have plans this weekend?"
"Yes."
"What are they?"
"I don't know. But she definitely has plans."

What I wanted to say was, "None of your flippin beeswax. She's off the clock until Monday. What she does for the next 61 hours is none of your business."

I settled for putting on my shoes and walking out.

Then I ran down the street to beat them to the apartment. "Turn the lights off!! She's coming over. Get ready, we're going out!"

The kids came down to see if we wanted to hit up karaoke.
T: "They're not even here!"

So we know the no light thing is effective. They heard why and Tooly backed out and ran. "Meet you upstairs."

He doesn't even have a job anymore and the sound of her name still sends him running.